


Called to the sea, but she abandonned me

by GivemeanID



Category: Naruto
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Biting, Blacksmith Tobirama, Blindfolds, Cats, Dogs, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Gags, I will add tags as the story goes, Minor Character Death, Multi, Mutual Pining, Non-Sexual Bondage, Past Child Abuse, Past Domestic Violence, Slow Burn, Therapy, Threats of Violence, Torture, Viking Culture, these dorks don't know how to emotion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2020-10-04 01:54:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 33,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20463092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GivemeanID/pseuds/GivemeanID
Summary: That night, Izuna dreamt of the sea.When he woke up, his sight was clearer than it had been in months and a knife was embedded in the wall in front of him.





	1. I've got a demon that won't let me sleep

**Author's Note:**

> I've been watching Man at Arms recently, and my brain came up with blacksmith!Tobirama ^^
> 
> In this Universe, the Uchiha have won the war. The Senju are mostly extinct and those who remain are scattered around the world. Hashirama and Toka are with the Uzumaki and Tobirama has vanished.
> 
> The story starts three years after the Uchiha victory.

That night, Izuna dreamt of the sea, cold, calm, infinite. He dreamt of the light that filtrated through the water, of the foam on the edge of the waves, of the darkness of her neverending depths.

When he opened his eyes, this morning, his sight was clearer than it had been in months. He blinked. Once. Twice. Nothing changed. He sat up, flabbergasted. His eyes were not painful anymore. Completely lost, he blinked once again. The light was so much brighter, the colors too, the shapes were not dizzy anymore... His sight was good...

His sight was good !

What the fuck ?! Just yesterday, he was slowly going blind because of the Mangekyo and now...

His eyes fell on the knife embedded in the wall in front of him.

He jumped on his feet, his hand reaching for his katana, all his senses in alert. There was noone. He breathed through his nose and stood up to approach the knife. The blade was approximately a hand long, patern welded and razorsharp. The guard was wooden, with incrustation in gold - a dragon and a phoenix - and lacquered in red.

The knife was the most beautiful thing Izuna had seen in a long time.

He took it. The guard was cold.

He couldn't believe it. Somebody had entered his room in the inn while he was sleeping, had healed his degenerating sight, had stabbed this piece of art into the wall and then had disappeared. Izuna was used to strange things, he was a shinobi after all.

But that...

Pocketing the knife, he quickly gathered his things. He had to talk to Madara. If there was someone out there who could heal the Mangekyo, they had to find them.

*************

Madara was looking at Izuna like his brother had a second head. Izuna was sitting in front of him, waving a beautifully crafted knife under his nose and what he was saying was a little too good to be true.

\- You say someone healed your eyes...  
\- Yes ! Madara ! When I was coming back to the compound, I was looking at the trees and before they were just big masses of dull green, but now I see every leaf and the green was so bright and there was seven different kind of green ! And the light Madara ! The light is so beautiful ! And this is the first time I see your face clearly in over a year and...

Izuna's eyes started tearing.

\- ... and you don't know how much it relieves me. And did you know that you have a mole just under your hairline that looks like a cat's head ? I did not even know you had it...

Madara inhaled sharply and touched his hairline. Izuna was looking at him with teary eyes.

\- I believe you, Otouto...

He cupped Izuna's cheek in his hand and felt tears sting his eyes. His brother's face was blurry, a distorted, inform mass of dull colors and it was breaking Madara's heart. Izuna put his hand on Madara's.

\- I am gonna find them, Aniki. I am gonna find them and get them back here and they are gonna heal you. I promise.  
\- Otouto... this is not necessary... we won the war, the Senju are dispersed and too weakened... we do not need...  
\- Aniki ! I do not want to do that because we need more power... I want to do that for you... I want you to be okay... I want you to stop suffering...

Madara hugged his brother and started crying in his neck. Izuna hugged back.

\- I will find them, Aniki.  
\- Be careful. Promise me you will be.  
\- I promise Aniki. I swear it on the Sharingan.

They stayed pressed against each other for a long time, appreciating the heat on the softness. Finally, Izuna let go and planted a kiss on Madara's forehead before standing up and leaving the room.

He must prepare.

He had an elusive healer slash blacksmith to find.

**************

It's been two weeks now that Izuna had been going from city to city, interrogating every blacksmith he came across. For now, he didn't gathered a lot of information. A blacksmith he drank a glass of sake with - an old Nara woman who was missing an eye - told him that the design originated from the Fire Country, but not the method of smithing. She also told him that she never saw that kind of forge work but that she had heard about it. She had oriented him to another blacksmith who might help him.

And now, here he was, in front of a dingy shop, in Tanzaku. An old man was sitting in front of it on a wooden bench, smoking something really smelly. He sent Izuna a cool gaze.

\- You lost, lad ?

His accent was really heavy, he clearly didn't come from the Fire Country. Probably not from any ninja country really. Izuna would rather bet on a land far far west. Despite his age, the man was tall and large, mostly muscles, with the corded arms of a blacksmith. A mane of white hair was falling on his shoulders and a thick white beard was covering half his face. Izuna swallowed and bowed.

\- Hello, I am looking for Ma... Magnus. I've been sent by Shikara from the Nara. My name is...  
\- I know who you are boy... One of these spitfire from the Uchiha... You all look the same...

Izuna almost puffed up in offence. The old man patted the bench and Izuna sat next to him. The stranger exhaled a thick cloud of grey and smelly smoke and Izuna scrunched his nose.

\- I am Magnus, lad... so why did old Shikara sent you to me ? How is she ?  
\- She's good, still working in th forge.

The old man laughed. Izuna fetched the knife in his backpack and showed it to his host.

\- She told me you could give me intel on this...

The old man took the knife and examined it. His eyes widened.

\- Where did you find that, lad ?  
\- This is a long story. Shikara told me the smithing method is unknown in the Fire Country.  
\- Yes. It is. This method comes from my homeland, far in the west. We do not teach this method to strangers.  
\- So, a blacksmith from your homeland crafted this blade ?  
\- No.  
\- But you said...  
\- I know lad. But the shape of the blade, and the design of the guard come from your land. And we do not do that.  
\- Maybe it was a comission or something...  
\- We do not do that...

Izuna bit his tongue. Back to point A.

\- But I've heard rumors...

Izuna's head whipped to Magnus, eyes wide. Okay, maybe not back to point A.

\- I am listening.

Magnus signed and took a lungful of the thing he was smoking. He exhaled it slowly, while Izuna waited, practically vibrating with anticipation.

\- In the south, near the sea, just next the border of the Water Country, there is a forest. This is only rumors and talks in the night, lad. But they say that sometimes, when you go in this forest and ask for a blade, someone will give you one.

He swirled the knife between his fingers.

\- A blade like this one.  
\- And this someone, who is it ?  
\- It is not known, laddie. You just make your wish and the blade appears in the night, just before you.

Izuna's brows knitted. This was not clear at all. But for the first time in two weeks, he had a lead. It was worth a shot. He stood up and bowed deeply to the old blacksmith.

\- Thank you Magnus-san.

The old man gave him the knife back.

\- Be careful, lad. They say the forest is haunted. They say a ghost roams it, and that he is hungry for souls.

Izuna thought of Madara, of his declining sight, of the expression of perpetual pain etched on his brother's face and he smiled. A cold and crual smile. The smile of a warrior.

\- I am ready to risk it.

************

Two weeks later, Izuna was searching said forest from one end to the other, he was wet, tired and he had enough of this fucking rain. If he met Magnus again, he was gonna give him an earful because the man sent him on a wild goose chase.

There was noone in this fucking forest !

No ghost, no mystery blacksmith, noone !

\- Fuck fuck fuck fuck...

Growling between his teeth, Izuna made his way in the underbush and for the xth time this day, took a branch to the face. Furious, having enough of everything, Izuna quickly composed the handsigns for a Grand Fireball and spat it, along with all the rage he had accumulated in the last two weeks. The trees exploded.

And suddenly, Izuna felt a flare of chakra being disrupted. Almost like when one set off a trap...

Oh fuck !

He dove just in time to dodge the bunch of flying senbons, which stabbed sharply into a tree trunk. He eyed them with wide eyes. If he had been a hair slower, he would currently look like a pincushion. He sighed deeply.

Another flare of chakra being disrupted.

Oh come on !

He spent the next hour dodging trap after trap and running for his life. This entire part of the forest had been thoroughly booby trapped. When it finally stopped, Izuna was missing a few strands of hair and was slightly singed.

Using his Sharingan to make sure there wasn't any other trap - there wasn't, thanks gods ! - he took a few minutes to even his breathing. God fucking dammit ! Somebody didn't want to be found !

But Izuna was nothing if not stubborn.

He spent the next five days running in circles, looking out for any trap. At the end of the fifth day, he was sure he had them all. Some of them were incredibly vicious and well-thought, and triggered memories in Izuna. It looked like something Tobirama Senju could have done.

But Tobirama had disappeared.

Three years ago, when the Uchiha had finally won the war, most surviving Senju had left the Fire Country, going to the Uzumaki - like Hashirama - or to other allied clans. But not Tobirama.

The White Demon had just... vanished into thin air. Nobody knew where he was. Not even his family. Some said he was dead. Some said he had left the ninja countries and was roaming the world. The most vindicative said he had gone back to hell where he truly belonged. But in the end, it was only rumors and nobody really knew.

Funny how the mind worked. Now that he was not here anymore, Izuna almost missed the other man. They were enemies and rivals, but the young Uchiha knew he could always trust the albino to try to kill him. It was appeasing, in a twisted and vicious kind of way.

************

That night, Izuna dreamt of the sea.

He dreamt of the cold, cold waters, of the colorless, noiseless depths, of the white foam cresting the waves. He dreamt he was sinking in it. And it felt good.

That night, Izuna dreamt of the sea.

************

The next day, he penetrated the area surrounded by the traps. Someone was there, someone who had answers and Izuna would have them no matter what. He slithered through the traps like viper and finally he reached a clearing, with a little house and a forge built in the middle of it. He inhaled sharply. Finally, he would see the face of the mystery blacksmith maybe healer. Finally, he would have his answers. As he approached the forge, he heard a rustle inside of it.

And when the man appeared, Izuna almost swallowed his tongue. Because in front of him, wearing an oversized grey shirt, black pants and a blacksmith leather apron, there was Tobirama Senju.


	2. But I won't never give up, no

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izuna finds the mystery healer.
> 
> It goes as well as you think it would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Izuna is having a lot of inappropriate thoughts about Tobirama in this chapter.

Izuna just stood there, gaping. His mind was racing. Tobirama Senju was alive and he had healed his sight. It was surrealist. Why would that particular Senju help any Uchiha, especially him ?

Tobirama didn't look surprised to see him. Of fucking course, fucking sensor, he had probably followed him as he set off his legion of traps. Had probably laughed his head off all the way, too.

Fucking bastard.

Izuna growled and bared his teeth. Tobirama imitated him and Izuna felt a pang of something, because he was not blind - thanks to the asshole in front of him - and that was really hot.

\- Leave, Uchiha, and forget you saw me.  
\- No fucking way ! I didn't endure all the traps of that fucking forest of the death just to turn back now !

He produced the knife and waved it in front of him.

\- Did you forge that, Senju ?!  
\- What if I did ?!  
\- Then you are the asshat who healed my eyes and I am here to take you back to the Uchiha compound !  
\- You are delusionnal, Uchiha ! Why would I have done that ?!  
\- Hell if I know ! But I am sure you did it !  
\- Then you are even more stupid I thought you were !

Izuna threw his hands up in annoyance.

\- Okay, Senju. There are two ways we can do this...  
\- I already chose, Tobirama snarled, making a very distinctive handsign.

Izuna jumped sideway to dodge the gigantic water dragon coming his way. He swore under his breath, caught his sword and countered with a Grand Fireball of his own. Tobirama lunged, discarded his apron and threw it in Izuna's face. They grappled and clashed like men possessed, Izuna growling between his teeth and Tobirama cold and calculative and silent. The Senju managed a vicious hit on Izuna's wrist, forcing him to let go of his sword. Izuna jumped backward, spat several fireballs that Tobirama countered with a water wall.

It lasted for gods knew how long, and a part of Izuna was satisfied to see that after three years they were still evenly matched. In the end, they were left panting, glaring at each other.

Izuna felt a cold fury invading him. This fucking Senju ! He was ready to let Madara go blind ! Hey ! He bet the White Demon had healed him only so Izuna could witness his brother's decline.

\- You're fucking sick, Senju, he snarled.

Tobirama's brows raised and Izuna lunged. He would not loose this fight. He would catch this fucker and submit him and tie him up and take him back to the Uchiha compound for everyone to witness his humiliation. Tobirama tried to dodge the attack. But he was tired, from the fight and from working in the forge before that. He couldn't totally dodge.

Izuna was aiming for his throat, he got his shoulder instead. But the weight and the fury of the Uchiha were enough to unbalance the Senju. He fell and Izuna didn't let him go. He followed the albino's fall and plastered himself against his back. He clamped his legs on the other's waist, sneaked one of his arms around his torsoand grabbed one of Tobirama's pectorals in a bruising grip and finally closed his other arm on the whitehaired man's throat to cut his airway.

But Tobirama was stronger than Izuna expected. He managed to stand up and threw himself against a tree, back first, to try to crush Izuna. The Uchiha wheezed, all air chased from his lungs. But he didn't let go. He couldn't let go. Madara was counting on him.

He couldn't loose this fight.

Tobirama threw his head backward to breath more freely and growled. He bucked and trashed like a wild horse. Izuna gripped at him with all his might but the Senju wouldn't yield. He kept trying to dislodge Izuna and he weighted significantly more than him. One moment or another, he would succeed.

Izuna had to do something. He had to... His eyes fell on the pale nape just before his face.

Something clicked in his mind.

He bit down.

Hard.

Tobirama's eyes widened, a surprised gasp was wrenched from his throat, and finally he spasmed and fell face first into the ground. Izuna exhaled slowly. He wasn't expecting such a reaction. He sat up straight, pushing all his weight on the Senju's shoulders to keep him on the ground. Tobirama was shivering, eyes glassy. Izuna looked at the bitemark, perfectly visible on the snow white skin.

He gulped. Now that the tension had decreased, he could feel he had a little problem. Tobirama was powerful and having that raw power writhing under him triggered... a totally normal reaction in a healthy human male interested in another haman being.

In one word, he was hard.

As fuck.

He shook his head to get his mind clear. He had to restrain Tobirama. The Senju was not going to stay in that state eternally. He caught the Senju's arms, produced a long coil of rope from a storage seal, placed Tobirama's arms parallel to each other and started binding them thoroughly. He added a chakra restraining cuff.

That made Tobirama stir. His eyes shone, he snarled and bucked. Izuna hit the ground near his head, cracking the earth. Tobirama stilled.

\- Stay down, Senju, Izuna growled darkly in his ear.

Tobirama nodded, still eyeing Izuna carefully. Satisfied, the Uchiha stood up, summoned a clone, and continued tying Tobirama up. His clone hauled Tobirama up and Izuna looped the rope around the Senju's chest. One loop under the pectorals and one loop over them. He then tied these ropes to the already bound arms. Finally, he bound Tobirama's ankles. The Senju had lost his sandals during the fight.

And just because he could - and because it stroked a dark part inside of him - he gagged Tobirama. Seing his clone force the Senju's jaws open while he looped the piece of white fabric around his head and between his teeth did nothing to tamper his raging hardon. Gods, if he was a lesser man... No, he would not think about that.

He ordered his clone to guard Tobirama while he wandered inside the forge. There were a lot of tools, and blades neatly ordered. All of them patern welded, with decorated guards.

Izuna snorted. And the fucker had the galls to tell him he did nothing. Because it would be a shame to let such beautiful blades here, he pocketed them all. And the tools as well, because you never knew.

Then, he went inside the house.

It was... not what he was expecting. To be honest, he was expecting a torture chamber. It was very much not. It was small, simple and cosy. There were books and notebooks scattered everywhere, drawings and paintings. It looked like he was studying the flora and the fauna of the forest.

There was even a rocking chair. Izuna giggled in disbelief. He couldn't believe it. The White Demon had a rocking chair. It was like imagining Madara knitting. It was even more hilarious because it looked handmade.

He gathered the books and the notebooks, because it was common knowledge that Tobirama had a tendancy to create, seals and jutsu and other things. Some were incredibly amoral and vicious - looking at you Edo Tensei - but other were really useful - Shadow Clones, what a wonderful idea, even if it was the White Demon who had it. Then he sealed the in his storage seal.

He took a look at the bed, simple and tidy, like the rest of the house. He was still painfully hard in his pants. Without a second thought, he threw himself in it. It was smelling like musk and salt, and Izuna found out he kinda liked the scent. Pushing his pants down, he took himself in hand and buried his nose in the pillow. He wondered what Tobirama's mouth would felt like as he touched himself. He came quickly, his orgasm not satisfying at all.

He dressed up and exited the house.

Tobirama was still waiting outside, looking utterly furious. Izuna's clone was kneeling next to him, a hand on his nape. Izuna cracked his neck, and spat a fireball on the house, setting it on fire. Tobirama's eyes widened, he screeched through his gag and trashed. Izuna turned to him and he never saw so much hatred on someone's face.

Shrugging, he sent his clone back, hauled Tobirama up and threw him on his shoulder. Now he had to cross the forest and walk back to the Uchiha compound. Three weeks of travel with a feral Senju.

It was going to be funny.

************

It's been three hours already and Tobirama was squirming like crazy, snarling through his gag, trying to say something. Done, Izuna stopped in his tracks, put him on the ground and tore the gag.

\- What the fuck, Senju ?!  
\- I need to pee ! So bad !  
\- Ah ?! Oh...  
\- Yes oh ! Untie me !  
\- No fucking way !  
\- I warn you Uchiha ! I f you keep hauling me around like that, I AM PISSING ON YOU, DIGNITY BE DAMNED !!

Izuna scrunched his nose in disgust.

\- I am not untying you, Senju.  
\- Then what ?!  
\- I am... gonna help you...  
\- You what ?!! Are you kidding me ?!  
\- This is gonna be embarrassing for both of us, Senju ! So stop bitching !

The look of exagerated offence on Tobirama's face would have been funny in any other situation.

\- Bitching ?!! You kidnapped me, burned my home and now you're trying to find an excuse to grope me ! I have every right to bitch, as you say !!  
\- It wouldn't have happened if you had chosen the easy way !  
\- So now it's my fault ?!  
\- Yes !!

They glared at each other, panting. Then Izuna sighed, rubbing his eyes.

\- I am gonna help you, Senju. Don't do anything stupid.

If looks could kill, Izuna would be very dead. He ignored the scorching glare directed his way and untied the Senju's ankles. He helped him stand up before directing him to a tree and pushing his pants down. Tobirama was snarling between his clenched teeth, sounding unsettlingly like a boiling keetle. Izuna was trying really hard not to think about the fact he was holding the other man's cock.

He never thought it would ever happen.

Not like that, at least.

Not the moment, lizard brain.

Finally, the embarrassing moment that Izuna would never think about ever again was over, and he pulled Tobirama's pants up to cover him.

\- See ? It wasn't so hard, he said.

He sould really have shut his mouth. Because the moment he was fully clothed again, Tobirama stabbed one of his feet in the tree trunk, pushed backward with all his strenght, unbalanced Izuna, before twisting in the air like a viper and clamping his powerful thights on Izuna's neck.

He gasped as they hit the ground, the air chased from his lungs like he tooks a punch to the guts. Tobirama squeezed, grunting, face contorted in effort. Izuna clawed at the formidable murdersticks Tobirama called his legs, but to no avail. Black points were dancing in his vision, he couldn't breathe.

If Tobirama had access to his chakra, Izuna would already be dead. Fortunately for him, it was not the case. He concentrated his chakra in his arms and with a warcry violently spread Tobirama's legs. The man let out a surprised ah. Furious, Izuna stabbed one of his thumbs in a pressure point in the inside of the other thight. Tobirama screamed.

\- Seriously Senju ?!! I help you and you try to kill me ?!

Despite the pain, Tobirama spat in his face. Izuna punched him. The Senju fell, panting and dizzy.

\- Okay, you fucker, Izuna growled, I wanted to be nice, but since you ask for it...

He caught the Senju's legs, tied them over and under the knees and then at the ankles. There would be no more strangling attempts. Then he gagged Tobirama, tightly. And because his throat was still painful and he was feeling vindicative, he fetched a black scarf in his backpack and blindfolded the Senju.

He would have the fucker on his knees no matter what it would take.

**********

When Izuna stopped to sleep that night, the moon was already high in the sky. He put Tobirama on the ground, the man shivering from the cold, and started a little fire. He laid his futon on the ground, before going back to Tobirama.

He got rid of the blindfold and the gag. The Senju inhaled sharply. His eyes were red rimmed and somme tears were shining in his silver lashes, yet he was glaring at Izuna with an unnerving Hatred in his wine red eyes.

\- Not so snarky now, huh ? Izuna snapped.

Tobirama didn't answer. Almost docile, he let Izuna give him water.

Then he bit his hand.

Hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: They reach the Uchiha compound


	3. I won't let you bring me down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Uchiha met Tobirama.
> 
> None of them are happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've changed some part of the story, this is going to be even darker than I first planned :/
> 
> Izuna has zero chill in this.

Madara sighed and rubbed his eyes. Nana Uchiha, the Head Healer, swatted his hand away from his face. Madara grumbled like a child and she patted his hair to soothe him. She finished infusing her chakra in his optic nerves to soothe his raging migraine.

\- All done, son, she said, better ?  
\- Yes... Thank you, Nana.  
\- You're welcome.

He stood up, streched and cracked his neck. To be sure, he extended his sensing, but nothing. Izuna was still out of his range. Madara frowned, worried.

\- Stop frowning, son, Nana said washing her hands, or you're going to age before your time.  
\- Nana, Madara pouted, I am Clan Head, not a kid !  
\- I babysat you, boy. I changed your diapers. You could be the Emperor of the Land of Fire, I'd still call you son.

Madara snorted. Then his face lit up.

\- Madara ?  
\- Izuna... he's near ! He's coming back !

Nana smiled.

\- What are you waiting for, then ? Go welcome him. With a little luck, he found the mystery healer.

Madara nodded frantically and ran outside. Finally, Izuna was coming back ! It's been almost eight weeks now. He hoped his brother was okay.

The news spread in the compound like a wild fire. There was a lot of joy and a lot of hope. Was Izuna coming back with a healer who could cure their eyes ? They all gathered under the compound's gates. Madara was vibrating. Izuna's signature was nearing the compound, burning high. His brother was well but he was slow. Madara raised a brow. Maybe the mystery healer was being uncooperative. Or maybe they were no ninja and that was why Izuna couldn't go as fast as usual.

Nana, and her daughter Kaya, five months pregnant, made their way to the front of the crowd, next to Madara. The Elders were chattering like magpies, on the other side. Whispers were spreading through the crowd.

And finally Izuna appeared, a few furlongs away from the gates. And it was immediately clear that something was not okay.

Izuna had a body thrown across his shoulders and the nearer he got, the more recognizable the bound figure was. Madara heard a hiccup next to him. He was too busy squinting to pay attention to it.

\- Are you kidding me ..? he heard.  
\- This is...  
\- ... yeah... the White Demon...  
\- I thought he was dead...

Izuna stopped in front of Madara, chest heaving. With a strained smile, he waved to his bewildered brother.

\- Heya...  
\- What the fuck, Otouto ? Madara breathed.

Izuna was in a dire state. He had bruises everywhere, and his arms were covered in bitemarks. His clothes were torn and it looked like he hadn't taken a bath in weeks. Which was probably the case. He looked exhausted.

Tobirama Senju - because that was him, that was the White Demon of the Senju, Madara was sure of it now - was in an even direr state. Thrown across Izuna's shoulders like a potato sack, the Senju was covered in grim, sweat, dirt and dried blood. His arms, his chest and his legs were tightly bound. His oversized shirt, of an indefinite color, was in tatters, held together only by the ropes binding his chest. His pants had been torn in several places and he had a badly bandaged cut on the sole of his right foot. He was gagged, the piece of white fabric wet with blood and spit, and blindfolded white a black scarf. His shoulders and his abdomen, naked, were covered in bruises, some of them foot shaped. He was smelling like death.

\- I found him, Aniki...  
\- I... see that...  
\- All that rope is a little overkill, cousin, Kaya piped up.  
\- Overkill ! Izuna exclaimed, puffing up in offence, the trip lasted three weeks and that fucker tried to escape seventy-four times, tried to kill me forty- eight times and gods ! He bites !

Alerted by the noise, Tobirama groaned through his gag and tried to straighten up. Izuna slapped his thight sharply and Tobirama growled.

\- Feeding him was a nightmare, Izuna added.

And because apparently, Tobirama Senju enjoyed being a contrary asshole, he chose that exact moment to buck, putting all his weight behind it. Izuna lost his footing and they both ended up on the ground at Madara's feet.

\- See ?! Izuna screeched, it was like that for three fucking weeks !

Kaya snorted.

**********

Tobirama, still bound, was pushed face first on the floor, inside the main meeting room of the Uchiha Head House, in front of Madara and Izuna. He was surrounded by the Elders, and the rest of the clan was gathering at the door of the room, trying to catche a glimpse of the defeated Senju. Nana and Kaya managed to squeeze themselves into the room, behind one of the Elders. Three Uchiha warriors were pushing Tobirama into the ground, one of them weighting on his shoulders, another on his hips and the third on his calves, effectively pining him to the ground.

Izuna took the gag and the blindfold away and Tobirama took a deep breath. The gaga had rubbed the corners of his mouth raw. His eyes were darting everywhere, full of unhinged panick. His wine red eyes finally stopped on Madara. He snarled and bared his teeth. Madara raised a brow and scrunched his nose, not impressed.

\- Senju, he said coolly.  
\- Uchiha, the other growled, his voice hoarse.  
\- I think you have something to tell us, Senju...  
\- ...  
\- You should talk, Senju, Madara continued.  
\- I have nothing to tell you, Uchiha. Go fuck yourself.

Madara nostrils flared and he bristled. He stood up and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He then stared coldly at the bound Senju.

\- I have no time to loose with you bullheadedness, Senju. Izuna...  
\- Yes, Aniki ?  
\- I want you to shatter one of his knees.

Tobirama's eyes widened. He eyed Izuna, who stood up and approached him.

\- No, Tobirama breathed.  
\- If you want to keep walking, Senju, you'd better start talking, Madara said, face stonecold.  
\- Stop ! Tobirama cried to Izuna, who knelt next to his legs.  
\- Last chance, Senju.  
\- NO! Okay !

Izuna stopped. Tobirama closed his eyes and inhaled sharply.

\- Yes, he said, I forged the knife.  
\- And..?  
\- ...  
\- Izuna... Madara sighed.  
\- And I healed Izuna's eyes, Tobirama gritted, forehead on the ground.

Whispers spread in the room, and outside, excited.

\- Why ? Izuna asked.

The Senju stayed quiet, looking at the floor. There was a tension in his bruised shoulders, like he was preparing for a fight.

\- Why ?! Izuna snarled, a little more forcefully.  
\- Fuck you, Tobirama growled in return, aggression lacing every word.  
\- Senju, Madara warned.  
\- No ! he roared, bucking madly under his captors, Fuck you ! Fuck every single one of you ! Break my legs, break my back ! I don't care anmore !!

He looked almost possessed and Izuna stiffened, backing off a little, as the warriors pining him to the ground struggled to keep him still .

\- Why would I help you, Uchiha ?! You destroyed my clan, my home ! And when I finally make a life for myself, your brother comes and burns everything, before treating me like less than a dog ! I HAVE NOTHIG TO LOOSE !!

Madara gulped. The Senju seemed completely insane. He started screaming at them in a guttural language that Madara didn't understand. Nana's eyebrows shot up to her hairline. Unrest invaded the Uchiha. Was the Senju cursing them ? He was reputed to be a demon after all.

Izuna's fist connected with Tobirama's cheekbone and his head hit the floor, hard. The Senju laid there, knocked out cold. A long minute of uneasy silence streched in the room.

\- Izuna ! Madara exclaimed.  
\- What ?! he shrieked, panting, pupils dilated in fear.

Nana walked to the senseless Senju and knelt next to him to check his pulse.

\- He's alive, she said, just unconscious.  
\- What the fuck was he doing ?! Izuna cried.  
\- He was telling you to go fuck yourself with a rusted axe, among other things, Nana said with a supreme indifference, dusting her dress.

All heads whipped to the Head Healer.

\- What ? Madara said, dumbfounded.  
\- How ? an Elder asked.  
\- That boy, the woman said, he was speaking Old Norse. This is the language of a northern land, far in the west.  
\- And how the fuck do you know it ?! Izuna shrieked.  
\- Language, son... To answer your question, I had a relationship with a woman from that land in my youth. Very beautiful girl. Lots of biceps. She taught me the language.

Madara facepalmed. One of the Elder, Taka, who was Nana's father, chuckled.

\- Madara-sama, another Elder said, what do we do now ? He admitted he could heal our eyes. But given what he just said...  
\- Yes, a third Elder piped in, letting him heal one of us will only result in death or injury. He'll probably try to eliminate his patient.  
\- Then we'll have to make him bend ! Izuna growled.

Nana's brows knitted at Izuna's words. Kaya's eyes, Mangekyo on - beautiful red butterfly wings spreading in black lakes - were fixated on the unmoving form of Tobirama. And she was a little grren around the edges. She put a hand on her mouth, another on her distended belly and exited the room. Madara sighed.

\- Send him to T&I, he said.

Nana and Taka had a dark look on their faces. But they said nothing when Tobirama was taken outside the room to the T&I quarters, the warriors carrying him followed by Izuna. The rest of the crowd disappeared quickly. Madara approached Nana and Taka, who were lingering in the room.

\- You do not approve... he said.  
\- You know my opinion on torture, son, Nana answered, cold as ice.

Taka nodded, dissapointement clear in his dark eyes.

\- What did you want me to do ? He would never have...  
\- Son, I know you suffer from your situation. But you seem to have neglected one important fact.  
\- Which one ?  
\- That boy healed Izuna's eyes. He was not forced to do it. He got nothing out of it. Yet he did it. Maybe we shoud ask ourselves why.

She gave her arm to her father, who took it, and they left. Before exiting the room, she turn to Madara and added.

\- By the way, yes, I think you made a mistake.

Then they left, leaving Madara alone with his thoughts.

************

Izuna closed the door after the warriors carrying Tobirama and looked as they untied the Senju, discarded his tattered shirt and chained him down on a steel chair fixed to the ground. Tobirama was still senseless. The ropes had left purple bruises on his snow white skin.

Izuna inhaled sharply.

The door creacked as the torturers entered the room.

\- Izuna-sama, one of them said, you don't have to stay.  
\- No, Izuna answered, I will stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry ?
> 
> Little thing about the Uchiha, they are a matrilineal clan, since the Sharingan is transmitted by the women. Because of that, the Uchiha women are valued, as fighters and advisors, even if they are rarely seen outside of the compound because bloodline theft. There is a lot of Uchiha kunoichi in this universe, the other clans do not have as many.
> 
> Next : I am so sorry


	4. I'll keep getting up when I hit the ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izuna is getting screamed at.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going with goddcoward headcannon in this, that each Mangekyo has a unique ability.

It's been three days already. They tried the genjutsu. It didn't work. No matter how crual and vicious the illusion was, the Senju didn't yield. He bared his teeth and snarled in their faces, wine red eyes burning with hatred. Sensory deprivation didn't work either. Sure it made him scream and cry, and Izuna couldn't say that it wasn't satisfying to see the White Demon of the Senju reduced to a whimpering mess. But the Senju didn't yield.

It was time to use dirtier methods.

************

The morning of the fourth day, Izuna barely woke up when Kaya entered the house like a hurricane and floped on a cushion at the breakfast table, just in front of him. Sipping his coffee, Izuna raised a brow. His cousin seemed agitated and upset.

\- Don't do that, cousin, she said suddenly, out of the blue.  
\- You're gonna have to be clearer, cuz, cause I have no idea what you are taking about.

She rolled her eyes.

\- The Senju, Izuna. Stop torturing the Senju. It will lead nowhere. Nowhere good.  
\- Cuz...  
\- I've heard the torturers talk, Izuna. If you continue like that, he will break.  
\- Good, Izuna sneered, vindicative.  
\- No this is not ! Cousin, torture gives no results. We know it. Inflicting pain to that man will not save Madara's eyes. He'd rather die.  
\- Cousin, no offence, but seven in the morning is a little early for your pacifist bullshit.  
\- My pacifist bullshit ?! Are you kidding me, cousin ?! I am trying to warn you that you're going straight into a wall ! We still have time to stop this nonsense !  
\- Cousin, I value your opinion, but frankly I think you are too emotionnal to consider the situation rationnally, given your current state, he said coolly, looking pointedly at her distended belly.

Kaya choked on her breath. Furious, she slapped her palms on the table, her eyes flashing red. Feeling the implicit threat, Izuna activated his own Sharingan.

\- First of all, cousin, fuck your sexist bullshit. Second, your bellicist bullcrap is condemning Madara's eyesight.  
\- How dare you ?!! How dare you suggest I don't love my brother ?!  
\- This is not what I said ! But somehow you are blinded by your hatred for the Senju and you don't see that you are making a mistake !  
\- I am not making a mistake ! Torture might not be your cup of tea, but it is necessary in times of war !  
\- Goddammit cousin ! Are you stupid or what ?! There is no more war ! WE WON ! There is no need for such things anymore !  
\- You are an unsufferable know-it-all !  
\- And you are an unsufferable asshat !

************

Madara was woken up by screams coming from the kitchen. Recognizing Izuna and Kaya's signatures, he jumped out of the bed and ran to the kitchen. When his brother and his cousin got angry at each other, they usually tried to throttle each other. And Kaya was pregnant. When he entered the kitchen, he found the two of them hunched over the table, spitting vitriol into each other's faces.

\- You know what is your problem, cousin ?! Kaya roared, teeth bared.  
\- Well, pray tell, dear cousin ?! Izuna sneered, body tense.  
\- In your head, you are still at war !! You still think you need to win ! And you hate the Senju because he refuses to yield !!  
\- I am doing it for Madara !!  
\- A mindless doll won't be able to save your brother !! But surely it'll be easier to fuck him !

Izuna let out an incoherent furious noise. Madara gasped. When Kaya was really angry, she had a tendancy to hit under the belt.

\- What the fuck, cousin ?! Izuna cried.  
\- Oh please ! We grew up together ! We went through puberty together ! Do you really think I didn't remark your obsession with the Senju ?! This is why you want him to suffer so much ?!! Because you can't have him ?!

Izuna's face was contorted by rage. But Kaya didn't let him any time to answer.

\- And by the way, I am impressed you didn't try anything while you had him tied up and helpless !! she snarled, clapping her hands ironically.  
\- How dare you !! I am not..!  
\- Not what ?! Not a rapist ?! Congrats cousin ! You managed the impressive feat of being 1% of a decent human being ! DO YOU WANT A COOKIE FOR THAT?!!

In one second, Izuna produced a kunai from one of his sleeves and Kaya's Mangekyo spread its butterfly wings. As they were about to jump at each other's throats, Madara's gunbai cut the table in two, effectivelly separating them.

\- Aniki !  
\- Dara !  
\- Seriously ?! Madara screamed, it's seven in the fucking morning and you're screaming like banshees ! The whole compound heard you !  
\- Aniki, your cousin is an asshole !  
\- Dara, your brother is an idiot !  
\- Enough ! Both of you !  
\- Dara ! Kaya said, jumping on her feet, you're making a mistake ! You have to stop..!  
\- Kaya, when I'd need your opinion, I'll ask for it, Madara stated, cold as ice.

Izuna smirked and flipped her the bird.

\- Now go back to the infirmary, he continued, and I forbide you to leave it before tonight.

Kaya bristled, furious like a wet cat. She nodded curtly and stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut with wall shaking strenght. Madara sighed and rubbed his face.

************

When Izuna entered the interrogation room, the torturers had already got Tobirama out of his cell. The Senju was shaking and his lips were blue. The bags under his eyes were so dark they looked like black eyes. They had prevented him to sleep by locking him into a cold cell. Suiton users naturally had a lower body temperature than normal people and he had nothing to warm himself with.

Tobirama seemed absolutely exhausted. He didn't even put up a fight when two torturers grabbed him by the shoulders and chained his wrist before hanging him to the ceiling. Due to his height and his long limbs, the Senju's feet still touche dthe floor, even if barely. Izuna growled. How dare Kaya suggest he could have any sort of feeling for that man ?! He came in front of him and caught his chin to force him to look at him in the eyes.

\- You have one last chance to give us what we want before it starts becoming really painful, Senju, he snarled.

Tobirama didn't answer, just blinked. There was something akin to resignation in his wine red eyes. Then he closed them and Izuna swore under his breath. Fucking pain in the ass Senju, making things difficult till the end ! He nodded to the torturers. One of them grabbed a cat-o-nine.

************

Kaya was stomping through the infirmary, muttering under her breath about stupid cousins and idiots. Her mother, who was examining Kaya's cousin, Reika, who was eight months pregnant, watched her with tired eyes. Taka, sitting on a chair, was sipping tea.

\- Ka-chan, he said, what is the problem ?  
\- The problem is that we are ruled by idiots !  
\- Be a little clearer, sis, Reika groaned.  
\- We finally have a chance to cure the inherent blindness of the Mangekyo. But rather than trying to preserve it, they are destroying it !  
\- Ka-chan, Taka said again, what have you seen ? I know you had your Mangekyo on when the Senju lost his nerves. What have you seen ?

Kaya looked at him and she was clearly distraught. Her Mangekyo allowed her to see someone mindscape, their moods and potentially their traumas.

\- Jiji, it was horrible ! I never saw something so horrible before ! That man he's been hurt so deeply... His mind is like a festering wound... It's... It's like someone cut him down again and again and again and then poured salt on his wounds and left him to rot ! I don't know how he stayed remotely sane for so long with a mind in that state... If we let Izuna continue, the Senju, he's gonna...  
\- He's gonna let go... Nana finished.  
\- Yeah...  
\- Then daughter, you know what you have to do.  
\- But Madara forbade me...  
\- Ka-chan, Taka said, when I was young, my mother told me that when rulers are blind, it's up to those who are ruled to take the matter into their own hands.

Kaya closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. When she opened them, they were full of determination.

\- Okay ! she exclaimed clapping her hands, with a big smile, who wants to storm the T&I quarters ?!

Reika raised her hand.

\- Me ! she cried, Madara's gonna get mad and I like getting Madara mad !

************

A little knock on the door was the only warning Izuna had before it broke. Through his stupefaction, he managed to understand that Reika, his very very pregnant cousin, had drop kicked it open. She had a very satisfied smile on her face. She entered the room, followed by Kaya, Nana, Taka and Hikaku, who seemed to wonder what the fuck he was doing here.

\- What are you doing here ?! Izuna screeched to Kaya, who was looking absolutely unrepentant.  
\- Saving you ass, cousin, again. Let's not make it a habit okay ?

Her tone was sharp and ice cold.

Nana bypassed Izuna, sent a freezing smile to the nearest torturer, who wisely let her pass, and unhung Tobirama from the ceiling. Taka gave her a blanket, and with Hikaku's help, the older woman laid him down on the blanket. His back was covered in lacerations from the whip. Nana's expression was one of perfectly composed cold fury. Her hands glowed green as she started healing his wounds. Taka and Hikaku were standing guard next to her.

Tobirama was laying face down on the blanket, unmoving as his flesh was stitching itself back together, barely conscious, his breath short and ragged. Kaya and Izuna were still sneering into each other's faces, while Reika, gleeful, was counting the points.

Finally, Kaya flipped Izuna the bird and stomped to her mother, before crouching next to Tobirama's head. Her Mangekyo opened as she stared into his eyes. Reika had cornered a torturer and was scaring him into surrendering his cat-o-nine.

Just as Kaya tore her eyes from the Senju, Madara jumped into the room, foaming at the mouth. Izuna threw himself at his brother, Reika - who had finally obtained the torturer's cat-o-nine - was eying him with a really interested face, Kaya started screeching, Hikaku jumped in front of Reika to protect her from their Clan Head imminent wrath.

And the entire room erupted into chaos.

**********

The butterflies were beautiful. So red, like fresh blood. Really pretty. Through the haze clouding his mind, Tobirama briefly wondered from which species they were. He had never seen butterflies like that before. It would be interesting to study them. Discovering a new species was always a good thing.

But he was cold, and in so much pain, inside and outside. Even if seeing the pretty butterflies did soothe him a little.

It was no use, he sighed inwardly. Too mush pain, too much loss. Too much everything. And Hashirama didn't want him anymore. He had nobody. It was no use.

And the darkness felt so welcoming. He just wanted to sleep and never wake up. He just wanted to not suffer anymore. The darkness was calling to him, so enticing, and he didn't have the will to resist its siren song anymore. There was nothing left for him here anyway.

He let go.

As he sank slowly into the darkness, his last thought before it swallowed him whole was that it really bothered him not knowing which species the pretty butterflies were.

************

Madara, Izuna and Kaya were trying to outscream each other when Nana felt that something was wrong. It felt like the Senju was slipping away from the grasps of consciousness. She put a hand on his head and infused her chakra slowly into his brain. Her eyes widened.

\- Hey ! she said.

Taka turned to her. Madara and the two others completely ignored her. Nana sneered.

\- SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU IDIOTS!!! she roared.

They immediately did so, flabbergasted. Nana never swore.

\- What ? Madara asked.  
\- You'll try to eat each other's head later ! We have a problem.  
\- Which one ? Izuna said.  
\- I think he's letting go...

Kaya became paler than death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the pitchforks, please ^^'


	5. I'll find my way home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are discovered.
> 
> Izuna is an idiot, again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank and credit peppymint for the idea that at the end of the war, the Uchiha took in several Senju orphans. Thank you very much my dear :)

Madara and Izuna raised a brow.

\- Letting go ? Izuna asked, what do you mean he's letting go ?

Taka and Nana were motioning the Senju to make him lie on his back on the blanket. The man was not resisting at all, his body was slack, almost boneless, his eyes half closed. And it hit Izuna that, despite being the tallest man in the room, the Senju looked really small. And really young. Izuna didn't like that.

\- I mean he's dying, Izuna ! Nana growled.

Madara stopped moving, almost stopped breathing, and became really pale. Izuna's face contorted, like he didn't know what to choose between disbelief and anger. Kaya hurried to kneel next to her mother, who had the Senju's head on her knees and was slowly infusing chakra into his brain to keep it functionning. Kaya's Mangekyo's wings spread. She blanched even more and choked on her breath.

\- What ?! Izuna growled.  
\- He... his mindscape is darkening...  
\- And what does that mean ?!

Kaya jumped on her feet, dress and hair flying around her, and marched to Izuna, who took a step back, a little afraid. He was used to see Kaya angry, but this was a new kind of anger, cold and dangerous.

\- It means he's going to die, cousin ! She roared in his face.

The room shook.

\- It wouldn't have happened if you hadn't behaved like a warmonging asshat !! But did you listen to me ?! Did you ?!  
\- I...  
\- No you didn't !! And look where we are now !  
\- I just wanted to help Madara ! he cried.

He started breathing through his nose and his face scrunched, apparently fighting the tears. Kaya made no such effort, she bursted into tears. Madara came to hug them.

\- It's okay, he said, patting their heads, it's okay.  
\- No ! Izuna cried.  
\- No ! Kaya said, it's not okay ! Now you're gonna...

Madara kissed her temple, trying to soothe her, before hugging Izuna tightly.

\- Ka-chan, Taka said eying the Senju, can you do something ? With your Mangekyo, you could pull him out of the darkness...  
\- Jiji, I could go in his mind and talk to him... But it won't work ! What am I gonna say ? Hello I am the cousin of the man who tortured you, can you come back so they could continue ?!

The silence in the room was deafening.

\- It won't work... she sighed, if we had someone he trusts, someone of his family for example, we could potentially convince him to come back by making them call to him, but the Senju are exc...

Her eyes widened.

\- Amaterasu, I am such a dumbass...

She sent a look to her mother and ran out of the room.

\- I am coming back in five minutes ! Don't touch him !

Madara and Izuna just stood there, dumbfounded. Nana still tended to the unconscious Tobirama, Taka next to her.

\- What the fuck got into her ? Izuna said.  
\- Cousin, Reika snorted, you are an idiot. Seriously, I can't believe the two of you forgot, given that it was your idea in the first place...  
\- The fuck are you talking ab...

Their eyes widened comically and they stared at each other. Reika giggled. Her cousind were such dramatics idiots sometimes. How could they pride themselves on their visual prowess one moment and act like a pair of blind dumbass the next ? Well, that was why they were so funny and she loved them so much.

Kaya came back exactly six minutes later, with a young dark skinned girl on her heels and Madara suddenly felt the need to slap himself. How did he managed to forget ? During the last assault against the Senju, they had invaded their compound, slaughtering everybody who had not been evacuated, while Madara and Izuna fought against the Senju brothers. And when the party - led by Hikaku and Kotaro, Kaya's husband - had reached the infirmary, they had discovered a little group of nineteen Senju children, who had not been evacuated in time. The oldest was eight, and hed tried to stab Kotaro, without much success.

The Uchiha warriors didn't want to kill children, even Senju children, their own childhood still fresh in their mind, where adults hunted them down for sport. So they took them back to the compound, screaming and kicking. There had been a lot of cries, a lot of bites, and two mre stabbing attempts from the oldest girl in the crew. The Uchiha had been impressed by the sheer number of sharp things the girl had managed to hide on her person.

When he had came back to the compound after the exhausting battle against the Senju brothers, Madara had been flabbergasted to discover a gaggle of terrified Senju children boxed into a room of his house, and a sheepish Hikaku explaining they didn't know what to do of them. Mayu, the eldest girl, had jumped on Madara and bit his hand. Hikaku was pretty sure it was at this exact moment Madara decided to keep them.

And so, they did keep them. As hostages first. If the Senju decided to retaliate, they could use the kids to deter them. Or if the Senju surrendered, they could use them to force the brothers to accept their condition - Hashirama was a bleeding heartt, he would accept anything to save the kids. But Hashirama never came. Soon after that battle, the remaining Senju left the Fire Country and scattered. And Madara found himself with nineteen little Senju nobody knew what to do with.

And because Madara was also a bleeding heart - even if he would deny this till his dying breath - he adopted them into the clan. And apparently, too preoccupied with whatever he set his mind onto, he had completely forgotten about them.

Mayu, because that was her that Kaya came back with, took a look at the senseless Tobirama, paled, sent a judgemental stare at Madara and kicked him in the shin.

\- Ow ! What was that for ?! he groaned.  
\- This is your fault if Tobi-sensei is like that ! she cried.  
\- You should rather kick Izuna ! Reika drawled, way too gleeful, considering the situation.

Mayu sent to Izuna a glare that could rival the Sharingan and kicked him in the knee, hard. Izuna bit bacck a groan, but said nothing. Mayu went to Kaya and both of them knelt on each side of Tobirama's head, which was still on Nana's knees.

\- What are you going to do ? Izuna asked, still rubbing his knee.  
\- We are going to delve into his mind to try to convince him to come back, Kaya said.  
\- I can amintain his brain activity for approximately one hour, Nana said to her daughter and the little Senju, after that, his brain will shut down very fast. And if you are still in his mind at that moment...  
\- We'll be stuck forever in a dead man's mind, Kaya said grimly.

Izuna gulped.

\- Let me come with you ! he said.  
\- What ? Are you nuts cousin ?! Reika groaned.  
\- Please... I wanna make amends...

If the Senju died and Madara turned black because of it, he would never forgive himself.

\- Sorry Izuna, but I can't let you come, Kaya said, you already did too much damages.

She then turned to Mayu, who was scruting Tobirama's face worriedly, and took her hands in hers.

\- Are you ready ? she asked.

Mayu nodded. Kaya turned her Mangekyo on.

\- Okay. On three... one...

Izuna hated being left on the side. He hated being powerless, especially when his brother's wellbeing was on the line and that everything was his fault. Which was why he did something really stupid. As Kaya and Mayu prepared to dive into the Senju's mind, he rushed forward, threw himself next to his cousin, clamped his hand on hers and linked their chakras together.

The darkness swallowed him immediately.

Madara blinked, flabbergasted, as he stared at his brother, hunched over the unmoving form of Tobirama, with Kaya and Mayu. He rubbed a hand on his face, exhausted. Where did he go wrong with that idiot ?

\- Please tell me he didn't do what I think he did, he moaned.  
\- Yes he did, Reika singsang, Kaya is gonna gut him !

************

When Izuna opened his eyes, he was welcomed by a punch to the face. Kaya was towering over him, face deformed by rage.

\- Seriously ?!! Seriously ?!!!! When will you listen to me, cousin ?!  
\- I am sorry, cousin, but I couldn't do nothing, since everything is my fault.  
\- Oh ! At least you are not as blind as I feared you were.

Mayu was cleary judging him from where she was hiding in Kaya's dress.

\- Very well cousin, Kaya growled waving her finger under Izuna's nose like a sword, I can't kick you back to the physical plan so I guess you are coming with us. But I swear to Amaterasu, if you do anything without my permission, I will castrate you and use your dick as a pendant ! Clear ?  
\- Cristal clear, Izuna gulped.

He threw a look around. They were floating in a kind of luminous darkness. It was really strange.

\- Where are we ? he asked.  
\- We are at the Gate, Kaya said, we'll have to enter to access Tobirama's mind. Once we are inside, we'll have to find Tobirama, since he's probably hiding.  
\- What makes you say that ? Izuna wondered.  
\- When you are hurt, you tend to put on masks to protect yourself. And he's been hurt a lot.

Izuna nodded and stood up to follow Kaya and Mayu who were walking to the light. When they reached it, they were blinded for a few seconds before they found themsleves in the living room of a house.

\- This is the Head House, Mayu whispered in a tiny voice.  
\- This seems logical... Tobirama is the Senju Heir after all. We should...

At this moment, a terrifying cry shook the house.

"USELESS BASTARD !!!"

Kaya jumped on Mayu to protect her and Izuna stiffened, ready to strike the ennemy. But there was no one in sight.

\- What the fuck was that ? Izuna gritted.  
\- A Turning Point, Kaya answered, a little faint, eyes darting around, an event so traumatic it is branded into his mind and his personnality.

Mayu was crying silently.

\- Mayu, what is wrong ? Kaya asked softly.  
\- This... this was Hashirama-sama's voice, the young girl said.

Izuna and Kaya paled and looked at each other. Why would Hashirama say such a thing to his brother ?

\- We shoud get out of here, Izuna said.

Kaya nodded. She clamped her hand on Izuna's wrist and grabbed Mayu's shoulder and led them out of the room. As they were crossing the corridor, a door started shaking, screams of terror and agony coming from inside the room, blood dripping from under the door.

\- Don't look, Kaya gritted, this is another Turning Point.  
\- But...  
\- He is not here, Izuna. Believe me, you don't want to know what is happening behind that door.

Izuna was starting to regret every decision that led him here.

\- How do we know that Tobirama isn't here ? he asked.  
\- Too many traumas and bad memories in that house. He is not here, Kaya explained, we should find a place he trusts, a place where he feels safe. Mayu, any idea ?  
\- He could be at his forge, or at the pond near the forest.  
\- Okay, we'll try the forge first. Mayu can you lead us ?  
\- Yes.

The little Senju took the lead. When they got out of the house, it was to see a landscape that could star in their worst nightmares. The houses were in shambles, the ground looked like something gigantic had opened it without a care in the world. There was blood spilling everywhere and an heavy smoke floating in the air. Mayu made a little distressed sound, Kaya was looking greener with each passing second and Izuna was wondering what had happened to his rival for his mind to look like that.

They reached the forge and searched it from top to bottom. But Tobirama wasn't here. So they made their way to the pond. And this time they did find Tobirama.

But Izuna would rather they have not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think ?


	6. Oh yeah, I am haunted by the distant past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They find Tobirama.

Izuna felt his breath freeze in his lungs. Kaya and Mayu let out little noises of horror. The Senju was sitting near the pond, back against a rock, his knees drawn to his chest. He was naked and roots were tying him to the rock.

He was... in a horrible state. Surrounded by broken glass and razorsharp bits of rusted metal, that were digging into his flesh, rivulets of blood covering snow white skin, he had purple eyebags under his eyes. He looked tired and utterly defeated. Powerless. His extremities looked transparent and that worried Izuna to no end. Please let it not be too late... But when Tobirama's eyes fell on them, they were as sharp as ever. The smile that graced his lips was exhausted with an edge of snark.

\- Even here, he said, looking to Izuna, even at the very end, I can't get rid of you...

Izuna didn't know what to say. He licked his lips. Tobirama tried to bend forward but the roots prevented him to do so. He slouched against the rock, closed his eyes and sighed.

\- What do you want, Izuna ? Can't you let me live my last moments in peace ?

Izuna inhaled sharply. It was the first time Tobirama had ever called him Izuna. He wanted to say something but when he opened his mouth, nothing got out. He was uneasy and since he was a shinobi, his first instinct was to attack. Kaya clamped her hand on his wrist as he stepped forward. She shook her head. Tobirama raised a brow.

\- Who are you ? he asked.  
\- Tobirama, she said, my name is Kaya. I am Izuna's cousin.  
\- Oh... the butterflies... that was you...  
\- Yes... that was me... Tobirama...

She took a step forward, but the broken glass rippled threateningly and started crawling toward her. She gasped and jumped back.

\- You shouldn't approach, Tobirama said, they are... dangerous...  
\- What are these things ? Izuna whispered, horrified.  
\- Bad memories, traumas, turmoils, Kaya said, gripping Izuna's shoulder in a bruising grip.  
\- You seem quite versed in the torments of the mind, Tobirama said, with an interested expression.  
\- I am, Kaya answered, voice shaky, I am the one who help those who suffer from traumas among the clan.

She seemed a little faint. Mayu was still hiding behind her, her little hands fisted in Kaya's dress. She was crying softly. Apparently, seing Tobirama in that state had terrified the little girl.

\- Tobirama, Kaya said, I am here to help you.  
\- If you want to help me, let me go...

Kaya's eyes widened. Izuna choked. Tobirama smiled and it was so sad and full of resignation that Izuna felt his heart break.

\- I have nothing left, he continued, and I am tired of suffering for nothing. I just want to sleep, and never wake up.

This made Mayu stir and jump in front of Kaya.

\- This is not true ! she cried.

Tobirama's eyes widened.

\- Mayu ..? I... you are alive...  
\- Yes! And the others too !

A tear rolled on Tobirama's cheek, he tried to stand up, but the roots kept him firmly on the ground.

\- I thought you were dead...  
\- No ! We are alive ! Please Tobi-sensei... we want you back !  
\- Mayu... I... am useless... believe me, you and the others would be better off without me...  
\- This is not true ! You are the best sensei and me and the others we love you and we want you back !

She tried to run to him but the broken glass moved quickly. Izuna caught the little Senju by the scruff of her neck before the glass could cut her. Tobirama was looking absolutely horrified. Mayu was crying. The sky darkened.

\- You'd be better off without me... Tobirama whispered.

He was looking more and more transparent.

\- He's dying, Kaya said, we've got to get out of here or else...

Given the situation, Izuna was feeling strangely calm.

\- Senju, he asked, why did you heal my eyes ?

Tobirama stared at him, aparently weighting the pros and the cons. Izuna held his breath, waiting. This was his last chance to get the truth. The Senju was going to die and there was nothing he could do about it. Tobirama opened his mouth.

\- I thought you were seeing me, he said, looking at Izuna in the eyes (and that was the first time since they met), but apparently I was mistaken.

And with these words, Izuna's resolve broke. Fuck it. Kaya was gonna kill him but fuck it.

He shoved Mayu into Kaya's arms and strode to Tobirama. The Senju's eyes widened, Kaya swore under her breath but was too slow to stop him. The glass coiled like translucent snakes and attacked, but Izuna dodged and punched. It cut, it hurt like hell, even if he knew it wasn't real. But Izuna didn't stop, he had a mission. The Senju had no right to make him feel so bad, to make him reconsider - uncover ? - his feelings for him. No right at all !

Covered in bruises and cuts, he fell on his knees and caught Tobirama by the shoulders.

\- What are you doing ? the other asked, faint, and it seemed it was coming from the other side of a wall.  
\- Izuna ! Kaya growled, panicked.  
\- You are not dying, you pain in the ass Senju ! Izuna snarled in Tobirama's face.  
\- Why do you care suddenly ? Tobirama asked, bedazzled, Shouldn't you be happy that the White Demon is dying ?  
\- No ! No I am not happy ! Amaterasu dammit ! You are not supposed to die like that Senju ! Not like a beaten dog on the side of the road ! You are a warrior ! One of the best I know ! My rival, my equal ! You are supposed to die a fiery death on the battlefield, with a snarl on your face and a blade in your hand ! You...

Izuna's voice broke and tears started rolling on his cheeks. He didn't even know what the fuck he was doing. Tobirama was looking at him with bewilderement in his wine red eyes.

\- Izuna ! Kaya tried again, we have no time...

She raised a brow, squinting. The sky has stopped darkening and Tobirama was looking just a little bit less transparent, just a little bit more solid. Was... was Izuna's babble working somehow ? Izuna started speaking again.

\- I don't want you to die, Senju... Tobirama... I just... I don't even know what I want right now... Fuck...

Tobirama caught his elbow. Izuna looked at him in the eye, sniffling.

\- Dammit, Tobirama, I see you ! Dammit...

A loud noise was suddenly haerd and light started filtrating through a crack in the sky. Kaya took her decision. Somehow, her idiot cousin was reeling Tobirama back from the darkness. He was becoming more solid with every word stumbling out of Izuna's mouth. He just needed a little push in the right direction. She caught Mayu behind the thights and hauled her up against her chest.

\- We are going to cross, Mayu. Grip my shirt tight.  
\- Okay.

She took a deep breath and lunged forward. She was able to dodge most of the attacks but one tore through one of her calves. She yelped and threw herself next to Izuna, who gasped. Mayu jumped on Tobirama and buried her face in his neck, crying. He closed his arms on her and breathed deeply in her hair. Another crack appeared in the dark sky and more light came through it. Tobirama was looking definitely solid right now.

\- Tobi-sensei, Mayu sobbed, please come back...  
\- Mayu...  
\- Please...

Tobirama blinked and smiled softly. Izuna felt his heart miss a beat.

\- Okay... for you and the others, okay...

He looked at Izuna but said nothing. Kaya caught Izuna by the scruff of his neck.

\- He is waking up cousin ! We have to go !

They stood up, still shielding Mayu from the glass. The little girl seemed hesitant, still gripping Tobirama tightly. He ruffled her hair.

\- I will come back, Mayu, he said.  
\- You promise ?  
\- Yes... Cross my heart...

Mayu let go of him reluctantly and joined the Uchiha. As Kaya's chakra took over theirs to extract them from Tobirama's mind, Izuna sent a last look to the Senju. The red eyes were burning with a new flamme. A flamme Izuna was really familiar with.

The White Demon was back, and he had something to fight for now. It was gonna be interesting.

************

Madara was biting his nails bloody when Izuna took a deep breath, like a man who just got out of the water, and fell on his ass, followed by Kaya and Mayu. Madara litterally jumped on him.

\- Are you okay ?! What were you thinking ?! You idiot ! I am going to drown you in the koi pond, just you wait !!  
\- Dara ! Kaya said, it...  
\- What happened ? Madara asked, immediately sobering, Is the Senju ..?  
\- It worked. He's coming back...

Madara let out a sigh of relief. With batted breath, the Uchiha and Mayu waited. Nana was still infusing chakra into the Senju's head. She stopped.

\- He's waking up, she said.

Tobirama stirred, let out a pained gasp and opened his eyes. He blinked and his gaze fell on Mayu. The little girl started crying. Tobirama sat up, groaning in pain, and Mayu hugged him tightly. He closed his arms around her, weakly. Nana took the blanket and put it on Tobirama's shoulders. Surprised, he sent her a confused look. She smiled softly, looking at his forehead to put him at ease. Kaya ushered Madara and Izuna out of the room despite their quiet protests. Reika followed them, cackling softly.

When they left, Tobirama was still hugging Mayu.

************

Later that day, as the sun was setting, Madara, Izuna, Reika, Kaya and Hikaku found themselves drinking tea in the Head House patio. Nana had transfered Tobirama from the T&I quarters to the infirmary. mayu had quickly gathered the other Senju children and had led them to the infirmary with the firm intention to bury Tobirama under hugs and affection. Nana had let them in with a smile.

Madara sighed. The Senju still had the chakra restraining cuffs on him and the infirmary was heavily guarded. Tobirama was going nowhere. The Uchiha Clan Head took a sip of tea. For now it was a happy ending.

If only Reika could stop poking his face now...

\- Seriously cousin, she drawled, how could you forget about the Senju children ? You're teaching one of them...

Sumire, Mayu's little sister, was a sensor, and a strong one. Madara had elected himself as her teacher and quickly gained the trust and the admiration of the little girl. Madara rubbed a hand in his hair and blushed.

\- Well, you see... that's a little embarrasing... As I taught her, I stareted to consider her less like a Senju kid and more like my kid... and the others as well...

He was looking really sheepish.

\- So when Izuna got here with Tobirama.. I just forgot that they were Senju...

Kaya, Reika and Hikaku stared at him. And then Reika proceeded to point at Madara and laugh her head off.

\- Ooooh ! I knew it ! At heart, you're just a big softie !  
\- Reika ! Madara protested, redder than a tomato.  
\- A big softie !!

She ruffled his hair, cackling, and Madara struggled weakly.

\- Cousin, leave me alone !  
\- I am pregnant cousin, you have to submit to my teasing, this is law !

Hikaku snorted tea through his nose. Kaya made a signe to Izuna and they both stood up and exited the patio to go into the gardens, while Reika continued to bother Madara.

\- Thank you for... not castrating me, I guess, Izuna said.  
\- This was a close call to be honest, she smiled.

A fresh breeze made them shiver. Kaya rubbed her eyes, obviously in pain.

\- I am gonna be honest, cousin, you have issues. Especially regarding the Senju.

Izuna looked at his feet, a little ashamed.

\- You need help, Izuna. I am booking you into therapy. Come to my office tomorrow. Okay ?  
\- Yes... you're gonna heal the Sen... Tobirama ? So he can heal Madara ?  
\- I will try, cuz... I will try...

************

Tobirama opened his eyes. He was laying on a fluffy bed, surrounded by the missing Senju children, who were hugging him and sleeping soundly. This was a great change, compared to the cell he slept in last night. The cuffs were still there, but he could do nothing about that.

There was a warmth in his chest he hadn't felt in a long time. He would survive. For the children he would survive.

For them.

And also, he had some things to ask to Izuna.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Madara pulled a Batman with the Senju children ^^ (adopt them all, adopt them aaaalllll !)
> 
> Next: Prepare for the fluff !


	7. Called to the skies but she was overcast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobirama meets some therapy cats.
> 
> Izuna faces some hard truths.

Tobirama looked around, a little surprised. It's been three days since he's been pulled from the gates of death, and the Head Healer finally deemed him in sufficient physical health to follow Kaya's therapy. He spent the three days in bed, sleeping soundly, getting up only to eat and bath. Washing the grim and the blood from his skin made him feel alive again. Mayu had helped him wash his hair and he had let her do it with a smile. During the three days, the Senju children refused to leave his side. Nightmares still plagued him, of course, but they were kept at bay by the children and the drugs Nana gave him. He was grateful to the older woman. She was always there, but stayed discrete and invisible, doing everything in her power to make him feel at ease.

He was currently waiting in Kaya's office, feeling a little confused. It didn't really look like an office. More like a kid's bedroom. The floor was covered with fluffy carpets in pastel colors. There were mountains of cushions and plushies. Tobirama was extremely intrigued by the gigantic teddy bear plushie - the thing was seven feet tall ! - sitting in a corner of the room. It looked like someone - probably Kaya - was using it as a couch. There were pictures of kittens and puppies hanging on the walls. The room was looking as non threatening as it was possible.

Tobirama snorted. It was almost cute. He sat on a cushion and rubbed his wrists. The cuffs were still here. Nana had told him that Kaya had tried to convince the Elders and Madara to let her get rid of his chakra restraining cuffs to ease his recovery but they had refused, arguing that he could not be trusted not to attack, either himself or an Uchiha.

Tobirama had to say it would probably have happened. He still had a well of hatred, despair and sorrows deep in his chest and it would take a long time before it dries. If it ever did.

He took a look at the cuffs. The seal etched on them was keyed to the chakras of the members of the Uchiha main line. He could not open them. And if he tried to destroy them, they would get a warning. There was probably a way to get rid of them but he would have to put his mind on it and right now he didn't have the strenght to do it.

No, for now he would concentrate on hs recovery. He would take what they would give him and make the most of it. He would gather informations, make sure that the kids were okay and treated well. And when he would be in top shape again, physically and psychologically, he would plan his escape and take the children with him.

And then ?

Admitting he'd succeed in smuggling nineteen kids out of the Uchiha compound under Madara's nose, where would they go ? He could ship the kids to Uzushio where they would be safe, but Hashirama was there, and Hashirama didn't want to see him. And to be honest with himself, he wasn't sure he wanted to see Hashirama. Just thinking about his brother made a knot swell in his throat. He drew his knees to his chest and closed his arms around them, breathing deeply.

Kaya entered the room at this moment, fumbling with the doorknob, a big box in her arms.

\- Hello ! she said with a beaming smile, sorry I am late, Mr Truffle got stuck in a tree again.

Tobirama raised a brow, dumbfounded.

\- Mr Truffle ? he asked, nonplussed.  
\- One of my therapy cats.

She set the box on the floor and three cats got out of it and peered at him curiously, a calico, a grey one with a missing ear and a black one.

\- They help me with making my patients confortable, she said, this is Mr Truffle - she pointed at the grey one - Miss PinkyPaws - the calico - and Lord Fluffbottom the Second - the black one - Which one do you want ?

Tobirama looked at her silently, wondering if she was serious. Clearly, she was either completely crazy or she had genius cat naming skills.

\- PinkyPaws ? he said, unsure.  
\- Good choice ! she cheered.

She took the calico and put her in his arms before flopping on te teddy bear. The cat sent him an unimpressed gaze before she started to purr at full volume. Tobirama hesitantly petted her.

\- So Tobirama, Kaya said, these sessions are for you, okay ? You talk and I listen. You can talk about whatever you want, nothing will get out of here. If you don't want to talk, that's okay too.

Tobirama nodded slowly, but he said nothing. He had no idea what he could tell her. He didn't even know if he wanted to talk to her. To give himself time, he petted Miss PinkyPaws. She purred even louder. Mr Truffle rubbed his head against Tobirama's ankle. He scratched his ears, distracted.

Kaya didn't talk when it became clear he would say nothing. She didn't ask question or try to force him to do anything. Tobirama was grateful, but also a little irritated. He knew that a therapy was a long process, but naively, he had hoped that it would be quicker.

After one hour looking at each other in silence, Tobirama caved. He needed to talk, to say something but he didn't want to talk about himself.

\- You don't ask questions, he said flatly.  
\- No, she smiled, after what you underwent, it is important that you relearn to trust the fact that your decisions will be respected. This will build strong foundations for the rest of the therapy. If we don't pass that step, it will never work.

Tobirama nodded. This seemed logical.

\- So if you don't want to talk now, that's perfectly understandable. You will talk when you feel ready, okay ?  
\- Okay...

Miss PinkyPaws rubbed her head against his belly. Tobirama breathed deeply.

\- I... I miss my furs, he said.

Kaya raised a brow and bent a little toward him to show she listened. Tobirama's breath itched a little, but he continued.

\- My mother gave it to me and...

He shut up, not knowing what to say next. That it soothed him ? That it was the last thing he had had of his mother ? During the last battle, Izuna managed to snatch it away from him. He didn't know what happened to it after that.

\- He probably burned it, he grumbled under his breath.

Then he shut up and refused to say anyhting else till the end of the session.

************

Kaya was biting her lower lips as she was knitting. Waiting for Izuna, she thought about what Tobirama told her. She remembered the furs. Izuna came back with it the night of the last battle against the Senju, cheeks red from his success and exhaustion, waving the white furs covered in blood around. Kaya didn't know what happened to the garment after that, but knowing Izuna, he probably kept it as a trophy.

Finally Izuna entered the room, a little out of breath.

\- Sorry, he said, flopping on a cushion, I was helping Madara with paperwork.  
\- It's okay, she answered.

She put her knitting next to her.

\- Okay cousin do you want to start back where we stopped last time ? You were telling me about a battle with the Senju when you were fifteen...

Izuna nodded and continued his story. He was fifteen at the time, and Madara was eighteen. It was his brother's first battle as the Uchiha Clan Head. Their father had died a few weeks ago of a generalized infection from a particularly nasty wound. But so did Butsuma Senju, since both men wounded each other. Izuna remembered being sad. Tajima might not have been the best father, but he was his father nonetheless.

\- I remember this battle in particular because the Sen... herm... Tobirama seemed almost... happy... relieved ? I really don't know... less tense, at least... less vicious with me, that's for sure... And that felt strange...  
\- Okay, Kaya said, why do you think that marked you ?  
\- I don't know... I think that's because that's the first time I thought there might be more to Tobirama Senju than just the White Demon... And I didn't like that...  
\- Why didn't you like that ?  
\- I don't... it was easier to hate him when he was just the White Demon, the monster, the boogeyman... Seeing him with emotions, almost human...  
\- Do you think that the problems comes from the fact that you started seeing him as a person rather than just a monster ?  
\- Yes ? Maybe ? I don't know...  
\- It's okay Izuna, take your time...

Izuna worried his lower lips between his teeth.

\- I think that I hated the fact that he made me change my mind, even just a little... and at the same time, I was curious... I mean, who is happy after their father's death ?

Both Uchiha looked at each other, and Izuna opened his mouth.

\- Do you think...  
\- We are not talking about that, Izuna.  
\- But...  
\- We are not discussing Tobirama's traumas, especially not behind his back. And I count on you not to talk about it with anybody, okay ?  
\- Okay...  
\- Right. Is there something else you want to tell me ?

Izuna scrunched his nose and looked elsewhere. Kaya rolled her eyes and rubbed her brows.

\- Izuna... nothing you will tell me will get out of here, I swear...

Izuna spent several minutes making complicated faces before he finally fessed up.

\- It was after that battle that I started having dreams about him...  
\- Dreams ?  
\- You know what I am talking about, cousin !

Kaya bit the inside of her cheek not to snort. It wouldn't have been really nice or professionnal. But Izuna was such an idiot sometimes.

\- Why are you embarrassed, cuz ? You were a teenager. It is normal to have that kind of dreams.  
\- I am embarrassed because you were right, okay ?! I want him ! I've been wanting him for years now, but I can't have him because he's an ennemy !

He started waving his arms around.

\- And since I couldn't have him, it was easier to make him suffer...

He sighed deeply.

\- I am an idiot, he groaned.  
\- Well at least you know that...

Kaya stared at Izuna, who was twisting his fingers.

\- Okay, Izuna, now you know that the problem, at least a big part of it, comes from the fact that you still consider Tobirama like an ennemy.  
\- Well, we spent our lives trying to kill each other, sooo....  
\- However, there are... encouraging signs...  
\- Like what ?  
\- For one, the fact that you are forcing yourself to call him by his name rather than just Senju.

Izuna blushed.

\- He was like an open, he said, and I... it's like I poured salt on him and rubbed it in his cuts. I can be cruel, cuz, when it is necessary, like all shinobi... but this was not necessary. And now that I know it, I feel bad for it...

Kaya smiled softly, impressed. Izuna was more mature than she thought finally.

\- You came to a good conclusion, cousin. Now that you are aware of that, what can you do to repair the damages you've done ? That will be a first step.  
\- Can't you just tell me what I should do ? Izuna mumbled.  
\- If I do that, you will never learn. Now chop chop, go use your brain. I want you to do something before the next session.

************

Izuna flopped face down on his bed, groaning. Kaya was an asshole who got off on his suffering. Find a way to repair the damages you've done, she said. Well it was easier said than done. What could he do ? Kicking his legs, he screamed into his pillow. Fucking cousin.

For good measure, he punched the wall. Something heavy and soft fell on his head. He growled and sat, taking the thing in hand. It was a fur pelt.

Izuna's eyes widened.

Find a way to repair the damages you've done... 

Well this was a good first step, he guessed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Miss PinkyPaws is based on my cat ^^
> 
> Next: Tobirama gets a therapy dog and Izuna does something nice !


	8. All smiles, I know what it takes to fool this town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izuna does something right (finally). Kaya is proud of him.
> 
> Tobirama is confronted to something painful. But he gest a dog.

Kaya sent Izuna a dubious look. Her cousin was holding white furs in his hands, embarrasment clear on his face. The thing had obviously just been cleaned.

\- You were using it... as a pillow ? she said, quite not believing her ears.

Izuna reddens even more.

\- Yes, he moaned sheepisly.

Kaya smiled, proud. Maybe her cousin wasn't so stupid, afterall.

\- Can you give it to him, please ? he groaned.  
\- Don't you want to do it yourself ? She retorted.  
\- No... I don't think this is a good idea...  
\- Probably not.

She sighed.

\- Okay, cuz, give it to me.

She took the fur pelt and Izuna thanked her and left. Kaya looked at the thing, intrigued. It was really heavy and soft. And it seemed old, like decades old. It definitely didn't look like something the Senju would make.

Strange.

She stored that piece of information in a corner of her mind as she made her way to her office.

************

When Kaya came back to her office, Tobirama was scratching Miss PinkyPaws behind the ears. Lord Fluffbottom the Second was drapped on his shoulders like a cape and Mr Truffle was rubbing his head against his hips. The three cats were purring loudly. When she entered, he looked at her and nodded in acknoledgement. She smiled and gave him the fur pelt. He took it hesitantly, red eyes wide in bewilderment.

\- This is... he started, carding his fingers through the fur.  
\- Yes... Izuna gave it to me for you...

Tobirama's head whipped toward her, betrayal darkening his features. Kaya sighed and sat at her prefered place. She knew what the problem was.

\- Tobirama, I told you nothing you would tell me was gonna get out of here, and I keep my word. I told him nothing. I swear it on the Sharingan. He did it of his own volition... He wants to make amends...  
\- Really ? Tobirama growled, venom dripping from his voice.  
\- Really...  
\- I doubt it...  
\- And I understand that it might be difficult to believe. But he feels bad and... he wants to try...

Tobirama stared at her with dark eyes. He shrugged and Lord Fluffbottom the Second jumped from his shoulders. The young man put the pelt on his shoulders and tension seemed to bleed away from his body. Kaya raised a brow but said nothing. Tobirama petted Miss PinkyPaws, concentrating his attention on the cat. Kaya waited patiently. Finally, Tobirama started speaking.

\- I know none of this is disinterested.  
\- It is not, indeed.  
\- You still want me to heal Madara's eyes.  
\- It is true.  
\- And if I never agree to do it ?  
\- This is... a possibility...  
\- What will happen Then ? I'll be sent back to the torturers ?  
\- You and me know it won't work, don't we ?  
\- ...  
\- I... honestly don't know what will happen, Tobirama. But for now, this is not the case, so...

She took a deep breath.

-Tobirama... Do you allow me to ask you a question ?  
\- Why don't you just do it ? he snarled.  
\- Because I want to give you a choice. None of this is about me...  
\- Okay, he said, ask your question.  
\- When you were brought here, you said that you would do nothing for us, because of what we did to the Senju. Yet, you healed Izuna's eyes. Probably during his sleep since he saw nothing. You could have easily killed him, taken revenge. But you didn't do it. I... wonder why ?

Tobirama had the face of a cornered beast and Kaya knew she might have pushed too far.

\- You don't have to answer, she added.  
\- Good, he growled menacingly, because I don't want to.  
\- It's okay...  
\- ...  
\- Do you want to know what I think ?  
\- Go on, he spat.  
\- I think you have feelings for Izuna...

Tobirama's eyes widened. Then he snarled, bered his teeth and jumped on his feet. Miss PinkyPaws landed on the floor, yowling in offence. Kaya looked at him coolly, on her guards. His chakra was bound but he was taller and heavier, and she was not in the best state to fight.

\- I want to get out of here, he sneered.  
\- Okay, she said, the door is right here. Feel free to use it.

His red eyes spitting lightning, he stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut. Kaya waited till she couldn't hear him stomp furiously through the corridor anymore. She sighed and rubbed her eyes. Maybe she pushed him a little to much.

She stood up and groaned. With each passing day, she felt more and more like a stranded whale. When her husband would come back from his long term mission, she would punch him in the face. When she got out of her office, she came face to face with her grandfather, who seemed a little worried.

\- Are you okay, Ka-chan ? I just crossed path with the Senju and he looked furious. What happened ?  
\- I... might have pointed something painful...  
\- Oh...  
\- Yes... I will go and apologize...

She groaned and put a hand on her belly.

\- Are you okay ?  
\- I feel like someone is stabbing my lower back. And I would kill for chicken wings.

Taka snorted.

\- The Senju is in the guest room, he said.  
\- Thanks, Jiji...

She limped to the room, grumbling under her breath.

************

Tobirama was furious. Slamming the door of the room Nana gave him, he threw himself on the bed and screamed in the pillow. The weight of the fur pelt on his shoulders did calm him a little, but he was still angry at Kaya.

How dare she suggest that he could have feelings for the man who kidnapped and tortured him ?! And worse, how dare she be right ?! Life with the Senju had been hard, especially after the scene at the river. Hashirama had drifted away from him, until it seemed he wasn't seeing Tobirama anymore. And he'd rather not think about the rest of the clan, except Toka and the children (he had stayed for them, because he couldn't bear to leave them, and also because deep in his heart, a small hope lingered, refusing to let go, that Hashirama still loved him).

But with Izuna, somehow, it was different. The Uchiha's attention was always on him, even if it was only because he wanted to kill him. To be the center of someone's world was something Tobirama was not used to, and Izuna was certainly acting as if Tobirama was the center of his world. And after he had left the Senju, after he holed himself in that forest, he was craving human contact so much, that he focused on his old rival and deluded himself, little by little, into thinking that Izuna, maybe, was feeling something for him, something more than just hatred.

He knew he was just deceiving himself, but he was feeling so cold, so useless, so alone. So when he had sensed Izuna nearing his shelter, on his way back from a mission, he had tracked him and found him at an inn. He had waited till Izuna was sleeping, had snuck in, healed his degenerating sight, left the knife and gone back home. It was stupid and he regreted it almost immediatly. But he was so desperate for human contact, that he had hoped Izuna would find him and maybe thank him.

Well Izuna had found him. But he guessed he could always wait for the thanks.

He was an idiot.

Of course Izuna felt nothing but hatred for him. Thinking otherwise was ridiculous.

He heard a knock and lifted his head to see Kaya at the door.

\- Can I come in ? she said.

He sat up on the bed and nodded wearily. She limped to the bed and sat next to him.

\- I am sorry, she said, I should not have said that, it was cruel and uncalled for...  
\- ... it's... okay...  
\- ...  
\- ...  
\- Do you like dogs ? she asked ot of the blue.  
\- Uh... yes...  
\- Cool... my sister raises dogs... we could go and see them... I was thinking a therapy dog would be good for you...  
\- Uh...  
\- Do you want to go ?  
\- Outside of the infirmary ?

He wasn't sure he wanted to be subjected to the stares that would no doubt be thrown his way. But at the same time, he would kill for the feel of the wind on his skin after so long spent inside.

\- Yes. Don't worry, this is just a five minutes walk.

Tobirama thought about it for a little while before nodding. He just hoped he wouldn't come face to face with Izuna. Or Madara. Or one of the men who tortured him. Kaya stood up and Tobirama followed her. They left the infirmary and walked to Reika's house. Fortunately, there wasn't a lot of people and they reached their destination quickly.

Reika's house was small but her garden was gigantic and littered in dog toys. Tobirama's eyebrows shot up to his hairline, noy knowing if he should be impressed or worried. Then, a very pregnant woman came out of the front door, her dark hair in a bun, an unsettling smile on her red painted lips. Tobirama shivered. This woman was dangerous, he could just feel it.

His impression lasted two seconds, till she suddenly made a goofy face, threw her arms in the air and ran to them giggling. For the secong time in two minutes, Tobirama's eyebrows shot up to his hairline.

\- Hey sis ! she cried.  
\- Hey ! Kaya answered.  
\- Hello you ! she said stopping right in front of Tobirama, who tensed, not knowing how to react.

Her eyes were wide and shiny, she was standing on her tiptoes and making grabby hands at him. Rightfully terrified - and also intrigued because was this woman really an Uchiha or just a force of chaos parading as an Uchiha ? - he nodded. he immediatly started ruffling his hair with great enthousiasm, cackling like a maniac. Tobirama stayed still, beffuddled, wondering how that woman was real. Kaya cleared her throat.

\- Can you stop bothering him, sis ? We've come here for the dogs...  
\- I knew it ! Reika wailed dramatically, you only want me for my dogs !  
\- By Amaterasu's knickers, stop being so dramatic...

Reika cackled.

\- Okay, okay... come ! Let's drink tea and then we're going to see the dogs !

She led them inside, made them sit at a table and gave them a steaming cup of jasmin tea. Tobirama took a little sip, on his guards, but nothing was mixed with the tea. Kaya and Reika were chatting cheerfully about the kids they would soon birth. He thought they had forgotten about him so he was surprised when they adressed him directly.

\- I am sorry, what ?  
\- I asked what you thought of Kaori, for a little girl...  
\- Oh... this... this is a good name...

Reika smiled, and it was soft and fond. She put a hand on her belly.

\- You... you are gonna have agirl ? he asked.  
\- Yes ! Anytime now...  
\- Congratulations...  
\- Thank you !

She downed her tea and stood up.

\- Let's go see the dogs ! she claimed.

They went outside, behind the house. There was a gigantic run with dozens of dogs frolicking in it, barking happilly, throwing toys into the air. Reika apprached them with a big smile before whistling. The dogs went and sat in line before her. Reika giggled.

\- They are cute, aren't they ?!  
\- Yes...  
\- Go on, choose one.

Tobirama approached the dogs carefully. They were whining, looking at him hopefully and waggling their tails. He looked at each of them before settling on a black labrador with teary eyes. He petted his head and the dog licked his hand, put his paws on his chest and started licking his face.

\- I am gonna take this one, he said.  
\- Good choice ! His name is Zu and he is really soft and faithful ! He will make a good therapy dog.

************

Later that day, after Tobirama went back to the infirmary with Zu, Reika visited Kaya at her house. As they were drinking tea and eating chicken wings, Reika snorted.

\- What ? Kaya groaned around a mouthful of chicken.  
\- You realize he basically adopted the dof version of Izuna, don't you ?

Kaya almost choked.

************

Tobirama was hiding in a closet, trying to block the screams, when he felt something wet on his face. He opened his eyes and saw Zu, whining and licking his cheek to try to wake him up. Tobirama breathed. A nightmare. It was just a nightmare. It was not real. He pushed the blanket down and sat up. Zu jumped on the bed, waggling his tail and trying to lick his mouth. Tobirama petted his head, grateful.

\- Thank you, boy, he whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: Tobi is adopted by a pair of little old lesbian ladies :)
> 
> Reika and Kaya are cousin, but they call each other sister, because they were raised together. Reika's parents died when she was two and Nana adopted her. Reika is half Inuzuka, on her father's side (hence the dogs ^^).


	9. I'll do it till the sun goes down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobirama gets adopted by a pair of little old lesbians.
> 
> Izuna apologize.

Tobirama was frozen. His breath was short, a little ragged, his pupils dilated, his nostrils flaring in alarm. All his instincts were telling him to run and hide. Zu had sensed his distress and had placed himself between Tobirama and the newcomer. Tobirama had been walking Zu around the compound like he did everyday since he got the dog, two weeks ago, with Taka, when he had come face to face with Izuna. The Uchiha seemed as surprised as him. Taka had put his wizened hand on Tobirama forearm, to ground him. Tobirama gulped, remembering the pressure of the rope and the burn of the whip on his back.

\- Izuna-kun, Taka said coolly.

Zu growled.

\- Taka-san... I... can I talk to Tobirama, please ?

Taka turned to the young Senju, who was trying to even his breathing.

\- Tobirama, he asked softly, is it okay for you ?

After thinking about it for a few minutes, Tobirama nodded slowly. He needed to know. " I see you" Izuna had said. He needed to hear what Izuna had to say. Izuna inhaled sharply, stiff, before bowing deeply in front of Tobirama. The Senju's eyes widened.

\- Tobirama Senju. I am sorry for the way I treated you. This was cruel and uncalled for. I should have tried a more... diplomatic approach...

He straightened up, his cheeks red, and turned on his heels, leaving a tired Taka and a nonplussed Tobirama. Izuna stopped a few steps aways, turned again to them, bowed again before talking to Tobirama really quickly.

\- Also thank you very much for healing my eyes !

He bolted and ran.

Tobirama just stood there, gaping, wondering if the last few minutes werent just a fever dream. He pinched his own hand. Taka smiled and put a hand on the Senju's shoulder.

\- Don't worry, he said, Izuna can be quite blunt sometimes, but he thought what he said.  
\- He... he thanked me...

The young Senju didn't know what to do, didn't know what to think. The man, who barely a month ago had been hellbent on breaking him, had thanked him. Zu stood on his hindlegs, put his paws on Tobirama's belly and whined to get his attention, waggling his tail. Tobirama scratched his head.

\- We should go back to the infirmary, Taka said, Kaya wanted to tell you something.

Tobirama nodded and followedhim, Zu frolicking around them. When they came back to the infirmary, the nurses were running everywhere.

\- What is happening ? Taka asked.  
\- Reika is giving birth, one of the nurses said.  
\- Oh..!  
\- Yes ! Nana and Kaya are with her in the birthing room. And there had been an accident at the training grounds, Taro and Tetsu set each other on fire !  
\- Can we help ? Tobirama asked.  
\- Nana need someone in the birthing room ! Wash your hands before going !

Tobirama followed Taka to the birthing room. They washed their hands and entered. Reika was sitting on a stool, Nana in front of her, her hands glowing green on Reika's distended and rippling belly. Kaya was helping her cousin staying upright. Reika was smiling, but she was pale and her brow was sweaty.

\- Thanks Amaterasu, Kaya groaned, Tobirama can you take my place please ? My back is killing me.

Tobirama nodded ans took Kaya's place behind Reika, taking her hand in his.

\- Are you okay ? he asked.  
\- Yeah... everything is okay... I'm pushing a baby out of me... Easy peasy...

She cried in pain as a contraction rippled through her and she squeezed his hand. He gritted his teeth and hoped his hand would still be intact by the end of it. Kaya and Taka came back with clean sheets and water.

It lasted seven hours. Finally, Reika gave birth to a little girl, small and almost hairless, who screamed with all the strength of her tiny lungs the moment she was out.

\- My, my, Taka laughed, this one really is a true Uchiha !

Nana snorted and Tobirama raised a brow. Kaya took the baby and started washing her. Reika sagged against Tobirama, exhausted. Nana checked her to make sure nothing was torn. They waited till Reika discharged the placenta and then Tobirama carried her to a bed before Kaya gave her her baby. She smiled.

\- How are you gonna name her ? Nana asked.  
\- Kaori, she breathed.

Nana smiled.

Later, as Reika and little Kaori were sleeping, Nana, Kaya, Taka and Tobirama gathered in the kitchen of the infirmary around a cup of tea. Zu was sitting next to his master, head on his lap. Tobirama was scratching his head as he sipped his tea. The dog was whining happily.

\- Ka-chan, Taka said, didn't you want to tell something to Tobirama ?  
\- Oh yes ! I forgot, sorry ! I think it's time to give you more autonomy... Natsuki and Matsuri are ready to welcome you in their home... Mayu and Sumire already live with them...  
\- Hum...  
\- I think it would be good for you to interact with people other than just the four of us... Natsuki and Matsuri are really nice... Do you want to try ?

Tobirama nibbled on his lower lips, thinking. He would be in contact with Mayu, without being under the watchful eye of Nana or Taka. He could gather intel more easily, start planning escape routes, see wherethe other kids had been placed... Chewing on his tongue, he wondered if he really wanted that in the end. He had seen Mayu and the other kids several times since the beginning of his therapy, and they had seemed happy, well fed and well cared of. Did he really wanted to take that away from them ? And Nana and Kaya had tried their best to make him feel safe and welcome. And it was more than he ever felt with the Senju.

And maybe it was selfish from him, but he didn't want to loose that. He inhaled and forced himself to smile.

\- Okay, he said, I want to try...

************

The next day, a she was moving to Natsuki and Matsuri's house - one trip was enough, he just had the spare outfit Nana gave him and Zu's toys - he was welcomed by a screeching Mayu, who threw herself in his arms. Laughing, he he caught her and hugged her, burying his face in her hair. When he let her go, she started chatting a mile a minute.

\- You come live with us, this is so cool ! We already started tidying your room ! Natsu-obaa-chan said she would give you new clothes ! Can I show you the katas I learned after ?!  
\- Of course, he smiled.

An old woman with wizened hands and long white hair came out of the front door, smiling softly.

\- Mayu-chan, she said, can you help your friend to enter ?  
\- Yes, Natsu-obaa-chan !

Tobirama bowed before her and Natsuki giggled.

\- No need to be so formal, young one. Come in, I have tea and cake...

Mayu took the bag with Zu's toys and went inside, followed by Tobirama, Zu on their heels. The inside was small, luminous and cosy. There were plushy armchairs, a little chimney, an entire wall lined with books and a small ornamented table. Tobirama let Mayu lead him to his room, small, with a big bed, a little library and a chest to put his clothes in. The young man let his things next to the bed before following a chattering Mayu back into the living room, smiling. She flopped gracelessly on an armschair and Tobirama sat next to her. Natsuki came back with a teapot and a plate covered in little cakes. A strong scent of ginger and cinnamon was coming from the teapot. Tobirama accepted a cup before turning to Mayu.

\- Where is Sumire ? he asked.  
\- She is training with Madara, Mayu said biting in a cake.

Tobirama froze, his breath shortening. Mayu saw his distress and immediatly added.

\- He's not that bad, she said, at first I didn't like him. But he a good teacher, Sumire loves him. He gave her a scarf he made himself for her last birthday.  
\- Madara... knits ?  
\- Yes ! He bribed me with chocolate so I wouldn't tell it to Izuna...

She grinned around her mouthful of cakeand Natsuki laughed.

\- She's gonna be a great kunoichi one of these days, the old woman said, looking fondly at Mayu.

The young girl highfived her. At this moment, another old woman entered the room, with a bag full of vegetable in her arms. She pecked Natsuki on the lips before turning to Tobirama.

\- You must be Tobirama ?  
\- Yes ma'am, he said, bowing his head.  
\- Oh you're so polite ! I am Matsuri. Welcome here !  
\- Thank you...

They drank and ate, Natsuki and Matsuri making small talk with Mayu. And finally, as Tobirama was helping Natsuki setting the table, Madara came to the house with Sumire. The little girl was bouncing happily next to him, and Madara was smiling at her fondly. Tobirama had troubles acknowledging this was the same man then the wild beast the Senju used to face on the battlefield. When the man entered, Tobirama looked the other way, stiff. When she saw Tobirama, Sumire squealed and jumped in his arms. The young man caught her and lifted her to rest on his hip.

\- Tobi-sensei !  
\- Hello you, he smiled, how are you ?

He tried not to let worry taint his tone and he succeeded quite well, even if Madara frowned and sent him a shap glance. Fortunately, Sumire started recounting her day with great enthousiasm, and the Uchiha Clan Head relaxed and smiled.

\- Dara-sensei taught me how to distinguish chakra nature ! she cried with joy.  
\- Really ? Tobirama said with a smile.

Her happiness was contagious.

\- Yes, Madara said with a proud smile, puffing his chest, she's really talented !  
\- I don't doubt it a second, Tobirama said.

He sent a curious glance to the Uchiha Clan Head. It was strange imagining him as a teacher, especially to a Senju child. But Sumire was happy and well cared of. She didn't have any kind of suspect bruises, the ones Tobirama was all too familiar with. The Senju smiled to the little girl and kissed her forehead, before setting her on the ground. She went straight to Matsuri to help her, babbling about her day. The old woman was listening carefully, ndding and asking questions, a fond smile on her wrinkled face. Tobirama turned to Madara, forcing himself to look at the older man, even if out of habit, he couldn't bear to look at him in the eyes.

\- Thank you, he said, for taking care of them.  
\- They are good kids, Madara smiled, and I wasn't going to let children be killed just because of their family name.

Tobirama breathed deeply. He hadn't thought...

\- Anyway... thank you...

Madara nodded. Natsuki turned to him, smiling brightly.

\- Dara-chan, do you want to stay for the meal ?

Madar blushed all the way to his hairline, before coughing a little.

\- Sorry, Natsu-san, I have a meeting with the Elders in fifteen minutes.  
\- Shame... these old coots take too much of your time...  
\- True, Matsuri continued, setting a bottle of water on the table, you can come another time...  
\- Yes, of course !

He bid them goodbye and exited the house. Tobirama felt the tension bleed out of his body and he took a shaky breath. Matsuri patted his arm and Tobirama turned to her, startled. He missed his sensing.

\- We're going to eat, yong one, she smiled.  
\- Oh... yes...

He sat at the table, next to Mayu, and waited, not wanting to be impolite. Natsuki gave him a large portion and he thanked her, grateful. He didn't remember the last time he had sat at a table and not feared for his life.

The meal was delicious and he thanked them for it. After he helped Matsuri with the dishes, the old woman led him to the living room where a pile of clothes waited. She made him try them on, adjusting those that were too wide. By the end of it, Tobirama had new clothes and Matsuri helped him take them to his room. He felt tears burn his eyes. The old woman barely knew him, yet she treated him like he was a member of her family.

He had troubles understanding it.

\- Are you okay, young one ? she asked in a concerned voice, as he was tidying the clothes.  
\- Yes... yes don't worry...

She smiled but there was a hint of sadness in her eyes. She patted his shoulder.

\- You know you can just ask, if you need anything, okay, young one ?  
\- Okay, Matsuri-san.  
\- Oh please, no need to be so formal ! Call me Matsu !

He smiled.

\- Yes Matsu...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: There might be a poetry contest ^^


	10. And all through the nighttime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobirama confronts Izuna.
> 
> There is a poetry contest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so poetry contest in this chapter but since I can't do poetry to save my life (especially in english) sorry my dears, you're gonna have to use your imagination :/

\- So you apologized ? Kaya said, looking at her cousin.

Izuna was slouched on a big cushion, twisting his hands. Lord Fluffbottom the Second was sitting on his head like a helmet made of black fur, purring at full volume. The picture was quite funny.

\- Yes...  
\- This is good, Izuna. I am proud of you. How did you feel ?  
\- On the moment... stupid... But after, I was feeling a bit better...  
\- Have you thought about why you felt like that ?  
\- I... think it took away a weight... after what we saw in his mind, I felt bad for the way I treated him... When I thought about how I approached him in the forest, I've been such an idiot... I could have... I don't know... maybe just asked him politely rather than attacking him on the spot...

Kaya nodded. Izuna had matured these last weeks.

\- Admitting you made a mistake and trying to repair the damages is good, Izuna. You really progressed, cousin. Now, do you have an idea for what you could do next ?

Strangely, Izuna paled. Kaya raised a brow.

\- Izuna ?  
\- I have an idea... I've been thinking about it for a few days now... but if I tell you, you're going to get angry...

Kaya frowned and bent down a little.

\- Izuna, she growled menacingly.

************

Taka was minding his own business, passing near Kaya's office with his nose buried in the infirmary's accounting, when he suddenly heard "YOU DID WHAT ?!!".

Two second later, Izuna stormed out of Kaya's office like he had the Shinigami on his heels. Kaya got out a second later and launched Mr Truffle at him, screeching like a banshee. Sighing deeply, Taka shrugged.

He really didn't want to know.

************

Tobirama was helping Natsuki and Matsuri carrying the bags full of groceries, coming back from the market. Zu was frolicking happily around them, chasing butterflies. It's been three weeks already since he moved into Natsuki and Matsuri's house and he came to really appreciate them. They were nice, funny, smart and they cared about him without making him feel like a fragile little thing. And Mayu and Sumire loved them.

The old women were like the grand mothers he never had. And Tobirama really liked that. Somtimes, at night, he lay in his bed and figured he had enjoyed his day, that he had not gathered any intel or made any plan to escape.

At first, he had felt guilty about it. He was a Senju, he was supposed to be loyal to them, he was supposed to do everything in his power to go back to them with the children.

But it was difficult. Really.

They were his clan, his family. He was supposed to love them. He had loved them, he thought. He was not even sure it was love, now that he looked back at it. Maybe something more akin to resignation, to numbness. Maybe he had been so used to the way the Senju treated him that he saw it as normal. But now that he lived with Natsuki and Matsuri, he saw it was not. And how ironic really, that members of an ennemy clan managed to make him feel more at ease and more loved than he had ever felt with his own clan.

He wanted to love the Senju, he really wanted to. But it was difficult to love people who held to impossible standards and never reciprocated his affection no matter what he did. That was why he always favoured the children. At least they were open in their intentions and their affections.

The Uchiha - at least those he was spending time with - were different from the Senju. It was the first time since a long time - since his mother died - that he didn't feel like a worthless monster. Natsuki and Matsuri were treating him like their long lost son, showering him with love and affection, always hugging him or touching him. At first, he didn't know how to react, but he was so starved for casual touch that he allowed it, came to appreciate it and even started reciprocating.

Kaya was genuinely trying to help him, even if he knew she had an agenda, that she wanted him to heal Madara. Nana and Taka always had some time to speak with him and drink tea. Reika had bullied him into helping her with her dogs. He even had civil conversations with Hikaku quite often, and more rarely with Madara.

And since he helped Natsuki and Matsuri when they went to the market, a lot of other Uchiha were starting to warm up to him. Just yesterday, the woman managing the bakery had offered him a free blueberry muffin, claiming he was too thin and needed to eat.

The first time he went to the market with them had been kind of an ordeal. He had expected furious stares, sneers and insults. There had been stares, but they were more curious than furious. The Uchiha had been wary, of course, watching his every steps in case he started being aggressive. Tobirama couldn't really blame them, he had a reputation after all. That had led him to trying to look as small as he could, which had been funny, since he was half a head taller than the tallest Uchiha. Mayu, who had come with them this time, had stared down any Uchiha she deemed had come too close. The fact she didn't fear watching them in the eye had blown Tobirama's mind, and at the beginning, had almost sent in a panic attack before he saw that they weren't attacking her.

Another proof that the Uchiha weren't monsters unlike what had been hammered into his head all his life, he guessed.

Reaching the house, he helped them carry the groceries inside, when he suddenly saw Izuna walk nearby, carrying wooden planks on his shoulders. Tobirama felt himself freeze. But then he thought back about Izuna's apologies, about what he told him when he was on the brink of death. He needed answers. And he was done being scared.

\- Matsu, he said, I'm coming back in a few minutes. I need to do... something...

Matsuri sent a glance to where Izuna was walking and frowned a little, before nodding.

\- Lunch is in half an hour, she said, be sure to be back for it.  
\- Yes, of course, Tobirama smiled, thank you Matsu.

She smiled as he went after Izuna.

\- Uchi... Izuna ! he shouted.

The other stopped and turned. He blushed a little and Tobirama raised an eyebrow, finding it a little weird. He stopped a few steps away from him and Izuna put his woden planks on the ground next to his feet.

\- Sen... erhm... Tobirama... hello...  
\- ... hello...

He licked his lips and Izuna followed the movement intently. Tobirama thought about it for a few seconds.

\- Did you mean it ? he said.  
\- What ?  
\- When you apologized, a few weeks ago, did you mean it ?

He gulped.

\- I know you've been seeing Kaya - like me - and... I... I want to know if she twisted your arm into apologizing or if you meant it.

Izuna's face did something complicated at the mention of Kaya's name.

\- No, he said, I... meant it... still mean it... what I did to you, especially after what you did for me... it was cruel and not necessary... we are not at war anymore...

Tobirama felt something light in his chest. A beacon of... hope.

\- Okay, he said, throat tight.

Izuna frowned and scrunched his nose, like he was thinking really hard, and Tobirama couldn't help but find it cute.

\- Do you like to forge ? he blurted.  
\- Uh... yes ?  
\- Good... I... I can convince our blacksmiths to let you into their forge !

Tobirama's eyebrows shot up to his hairline and a tentative smile stretched his lips despite himself.

\- Really ?  
\- Yes ! Izuna said enthousiastically, I'm gonna go see Madara to ask him !  
\- ... thank you...  
\- You're welcome ! I'm gonna ask him immediately !

He caught his wooden planks and ran, waving goodbye to a beffuddled Tobirama. What the fuck had just happened ?

************

The evening came, and as Tobirama was helping Natsuki with the laundry he saw groups of Uchiha passing in front of the house, chatting enthousiastically. He raised an eyebrow.

\- Something is happening ? he asked.  
\- Of yes, Natsuki smiled, the Contest is starting soon.  
\- The Contest ?  
\- The Poetry Contest...

Tobirama managed not to snort. The Uchiha had a poetry contest ? He would never had thought.

\- Do you want to go see it ?

Tobirama hesitated and finally nodded. This could be funny and he was curious. Natsuki smiled widely. They finished folding the laundry in companionable silence. Then they collected Mayu and Sumire who were playing in the garden and Matsuri who was finishing the dishes in the kitchen and they went to watch the Contest.

The Uchiha had gathered on the market place, which had been transformed into a makeshift arena. A scene had been built in the middle of it and people were sitting on the grass around it. They managed to get as near as possible and Sumire immediately sat on Tobirama's lap. He smiled. Kaya and Reika slithered through the ranks of sitting Uchiha to come salute them.

\- Hey ! Reika shouted, you came to see the Contest ?!  
\- Of course, sweetheart, Matsuri said with a grin, we wouldn't want to miss it !  
\- Cheer for me ! I'm gonna win the Haiku Contest !  
\- Ah ! Kaya snorted, you wsih...  
\- Oh yeah ?  
\- Yeah...

Arms crossed over their chests, the two women were glaring at each other. Natsuki snorted.

\- These two have been challenging each other for the Haiku prize since they were twelve, she whispered in Tobirama's ear.

He laughed.

Time passed and finally the whole clan was gathered around the scene. Madara jumped on it.

\- Brothers and sisters ! he roared, the thirty fifth Poetry Contest of the Uchiha Clan starts now !

Cheers erupted all around the scene. Madara grinned and bowed theatrically. Tobirama was surprised. He hadn't thought Madara could behave like this.

\- And now, the Haiku Contest ! Contestants, come on the scene !

Kaya, Reika and a dozen other Uchiha rushed on the scene. Madara clapped his hands.

\- Very well ! he said, the theme this year is 'star' ! Are you ready ?!  
\- Yes !  
\- Perfect ! May the Contest begin !

He jumped off the scene and went to take his place near Izuna, right next to the jury of Elders. Reika started and Tobirama had to admit she knew what she was doing. So did Kaya. The haikus were flying back and forth between the contestants Tobirama finally allowed himself to relax and followed the mood of the crowd, cheering when it was Reika or Kaya's turn.

In the end, the two women were the only contestants left and they were fighting ferociously. Tobirama was grinning, giggling at each quip and jab they were sneding each other in the guise of haiku.

But finally it was Reika who won. She jumped in the air, screaming her head off. Kaya crossed her arms on her chest, pouting, but a smile quickly spread her lips and she congratulated her cousin. Madara came on the scene to give her her prize - a box of cookies - and she jumped in his arms. Without missing a beat, he caught her bridal styly, laughing. Tobirama applauded, grining and Sumire was squealing with delight.

Kaya and Reika came to sit next to them, Natsuki and Matsuri congratulated the young woman for her victory and she laughed and gave a cookie to Sumire, who bit into it immediately. Madara, still on the scene, cleared his throat.

\- Very well ! Now the Poem Contest can begin ! Who wants to start ?!

A little boy - his name was Tetsu if Tobirama was not mistaken, he was a friend of Mayu and had started to come and watch when Tobirama was helping the young girl with her kata - juped on his feet and raised his hand.

\- Me !  
\- Come on the scene, young man ! Madara cheered.

A little awkward, Tetsu walked to the scene and joined Madara. He was blushingg furiously and got a sheet of paper out of one of his sleeves.

\- Hum, he coughed, this is for Mayu, because she is pretty and really strong...

Clearing his throat, he started performing his poem, which was basically an hymn to Mayu's awesomeness. The young girl was blushing to her hairline and grinning widely. The crowd cheered, and Tobirama with them, when the boy finally finished. He was red as a tomato and steam was coming out of his ears.

\- I like you too ! Mayu screeched, jumping on her feet, as red as him.

The Uchiha laughed and cheered, and Tetsu became even redder if that was possible. He bowed quickly and jumped in the crowd.

Another Uchiha came on the scene and started reciting his poem. It was really good and Tobirama enthousiastically clapped his hands when he finished. Another Uchiha joined the scene, then another, then another.

Then Madara jumped on the scene and the crowd cheered loudly. Tobirama raised an eyebrow and bent to speak to Matsuri.

\- Madara writes poetry ? he asked.  
\- Yes... he's really good at it, he won the last Contest...

Tobirama smiled, incredulous. He really wasn't expecting that. Madara started and Tobirama's eyes widened. Okay, he was good, he was really good. His poem was about Amaterasu and each word was sending the audience on her tracks, sharing the story with them. At the end of it, Tobirama was gaping, astoundished. The cheers were deafening.

When they died, Izuna got on the scene. Madara ruffled his hair with a grin and Izuna groaned, batting his hand away. He cleared his throat and started. And Tobirama felt like someone just slapped him in the face. Izuna's poem was about the sea and the moon, and their loneliness, alone in the cold cold night, and how he wanted to warm the sea and embrace the moon.

Tobirama felt a tear roll on his cheek. He didn't try to dry it.

In the end, Izuna won the Contest. And Madara, grinning madly, jumped on the scene, grabbed Izuna by the hips and hauled his screeching brother in the air. This night, Tobirama curled into a ball in his bed and replayed Izuna's words in his head. It rocked him to sleep.

************

Tobirama was slouched on a cushion in Kaya's office, looking at the ceiling, Mr Truffle sprawled on his lap, purring loudly. Kaya entered the office, humming under her breath. She plopped at her prefered place. Sending a look at her patient, she saw that something was off. Tobirama was looking exhausted and his eyes were red-rimmed.

\- Are you okay, Tobirama ? she asked.

He nodded, still fixated on the ceiling.

\- I... I have something to tell you, he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Izuna is a poet, you can pry this trope from my cold dead hands (especially when Tobirama is involved ^^).


	11. Oh yeah, oh yeah, I'll tell you what you wanna hear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobirama speaks about his past.
> 
> Kaya is horrified.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content heavy chapter, people, mind the new tags.
> 
> Also, once again, thanks and credit to peppymint concerning her ideas about the children ^^

Kaya raised a brow, but nodded.

\- I am listening, Tobirama...

Tobirama straightened up and looked at her, before snorting derisively.

\- You know, he smiled - but his smile was pained - during the Contest, I figured something out... I...

He rubbed his brow and Kaya waited patiently.

\- I think I am jealous... of the Uchiha, the way you act around each other... or the relationship between Madara and Izuna... I... never knew that and I am jealous...

He sighed but that almost sounded like a sob. Kaya felt her heart clench. She knew she wasn't supposed to feel for her patients, that she was supposed to keep a limit. But it was difficult, and she couldn't help herself sometimes.

\- Can I ask a question ? she asked.  
\- Yes...  
\- What do you mean when you say that you never knew that ?

He fell back on the cushions and Kaya could see that his eyes were shiny with tears.

\- Can you tell it again ? he suddenly said, that you won't repeat what I'm going to tell you ? I know this is stupid but I need to hear it...  
\- This is not stupid, Tobirama, she said softly, I promise, I swear on the Sharingan that nothing you will tell me will get out of here...  
\- Thank you, he breathed.

He bit his lips before speaking again.

\- My mother... he started, she was not from the Senju... she came from a land far away, in the north...

Kaya raised a brow. That seemed familiar.

\- She wanted to see the world, so she came here. And she met my father. And, well...

He made a face.

\- Anyway, she got pregnant. Butsuma discovered it. My mother, she just wanted to be free, but Butsuma became crazy at the idea that her child could develop the Mokuton...

Kaya really didn't like where all of this was going but she kept quiet.

\- He kidnapped her... My mother was a warrior, and a good one at that, so of course she resisted, but she was no match for him. He took her back to the Senju compound, kept her locked till she gave birth, and kept her again after that...

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes before continuing.

\- The first years, I... wasn't aware something was wrong. The clan was sneering at my mother, calling her a whore behind her back. But the Lady Senju, Hashirama's mother, she was nice, really nice. She welcomed my mother and me without conditions.

He smiled, eyes still closed. But then, his smile faded quickly.

\- She was fragile, though. After giving beart to Itama, she was tired. Butsuma didn't care. My mother tried to protect her. She was beaten and locked up. I remember... I got between the two of them, I told him to get away from her, to stop...

He inhaled.

\- I was four and... it was the first time he beat me... it was not the last...

Kaya dug her nails into her palms. She knew that Butsuma was dead, but if there was a possibility to ressurect that fucker so she could feed him to her summons, she would do it gleefully.

\- The Lady Senju got pregnant again, but after Kawarama was born, she just... she couldn't anymore... she... died...

A tear rolled on his cheek and he crushed it furiously under his palm.

\- It became worse from here... Butsuma started beating my mother more often and... I tried to stop him, tried to fight him, tried to protect my mother...

A sob racked through him and Kaya wanted to hug him, but she didn't move. Tobirama needed to get that out of his system..

\- Butsuma got fed up with my attemps... and my abilities, especially my sensing, were interesting him... he made a deal with me, told me that if I became a worthy soldier of the Senju, he would stop beating my mother... I was... barely five...

Kaya felt sick.

\- So I started to train longer, harder, I started to take dangerous missions, I started... killing...

It was the moment he started sobbing in earnest, curling into a ball on the cushion. Throat tight, Kaya stood up and came to sit next to him. She took his hand in hers.

\- It's okay, she said, take your time... I am here, I will not leave...

After a few minutes, his tears stopped and he dried them with his sleeve. Kaya let go of his hand but didn't move from where she was sitting.

\- But it was never enough, he said, I was never good enough, never fast enough, never... enough... He kept hurting her and I kept trying harder, I was convinced it was my fault she was suffering... And in a way, it was... if I hadn't been born, she wouldn't have had to suffer...

Kaya perked up at these words. This kind of reasoning wasn't good, she'd have to do something about that.

\- Fortunately, I had my brothers, and Toka... all of this was... less hard thanks to them... and my mother despite everything, she kept going on, she was so strong. She taught me her langage, the forgework... I was... almost happy in these moments... but...

Kaya bit her tongue. She knew what was coming.

\- And then Kawarama died... I wasn't fast enough to save him... and then Itama was killed... once again I wasn't fast, strong enough... I remember getting between Butsuma and my mother that night, taking the worst of the beating, being convinced that I deserved it...

Something in his tone was saying he still was.

\- It was at this moment that Hashirama met Madara... I was... aware of it since the beginning, also aware of Madara's lineage... but I said nothing... Hashirama was happy, even if it was not with me, and I didn't have the heart to take that away from him.

She didn't know why, but suddenly, she really wanted to punch Hashirama.

\- But of course, Butsuma started suspecting something. He asked me to spy on Hashirama. He knew I didn't like working against my brother so he... he promised me he would stop beating my mother... he swore on the Great Forest... and I had sensed Izuna spying on Madara and I didn't want anything to happen to my Anija, so I told Butsuma... and then...

He bit his lower lips.

\- ... the river happened... Hashirama was angry with me... and Butsuma...

He gritted his teeth, trying to contain a sob. Kaya could feel that something was coming. Something extremely painful, that had been festering for years.

\- I was just a kid, Tobirama sobbed, I was just a kid trying to protect his mother..! and he... he... he lied, he lied, he didn't stop, he...

He took a deep breath, tears rolling freely on his cheeks.

\- ... he killed her... there was blood everywhere and I was screaming and there was nothing I could do... I wasn't fast enough... I was... I am... useless, a useless, worthless freak and everything is my fault... everything...

By Amaterasu, the door !

The door, with the blood and the screams, flashed before Kaya's eyes. He had seen his mother being murdered, by his father nonetheless, and he blamed himself for it. Kaya couldn't have that. She took his hand and cup his cheek.

\- Tobirama, she said, looking in his eyes, it is not your fault.  
\- Yes ! he cried, yes it is... if I hadn't been born, she would still be alive !  
\- No, Kaya countered firmly, it is not. Existing is not a crime. No matter what, existing is not a crime, and none of what happened is your fault.  
\- But...  
\- No. BUtsuma is at fault here. He was an adult in a position of power and he manipulated you. What happened is because of him. This is him, not you.

Tobirama sniffled, but didn't try to blame himself again.

\- Tobirama, Kaya said softly, I need you to do something for me. It will be difficult, but I know you can do it, because you are strong.  
\- I am not strong, he said, I...  
\- Yes you are Tobirama. You lived for years in an abusive environment, and you are still here. You survived. You are strong, Tobirama... Do you think you can do something for me ?

He blinked, then nodded. Kaya smiled.

\- Good, she said, I need you to say " This is not my fault ".

Tobirama's eyes widened a little and his lips parted. He inhaled sharply.

\- It... it... is...

He closed his eyes and bit his lips, but bullied on.

\- ... it is not... my fault... it is not my fault...  
\- You're doing great, Tobirama. Say it again, please ?  
\- ... it is not my fault...

His voice was almost plaintive and he was looking like he was waiting for her approval. She smiled, nodding.

\- This is great, Tobirama. I am proud of you. I want you to remember this, this is not your fault.  
\- Thank you, he breathed, a little strangled.  
\- Do you want to continue ? Or do you want to stop here ?  
\- I... no, I want to continue...  
\- Good. Take your time, okay ?

He nodded, smiling weakly. Then, taking a deep breath, he kept going.

\- After that, it became worse... and at the same time, not really. I was like desensitized... nothing was touching me anymore... Hashirama was still angry at me and Bustuma was still violent... the rest of the clan was sneering at me... Except Toka...

He smiled, and there was nostalgia in his eyes.

\- She refused to give up on me. She forced me to get out of the house, she forced me to eat, she trained with me when no one else would, she took me with her when she went hunting, she offered me books, or new tools for the forge... she was there and at times, it was all I needed... if she hadn't been here, I don't know what would have become of me...

Kaya didn't know this Toka, but she already liked her.

\- With weeks, Hashirama got over his anger. But there was a distance between us that hadn't been here before and it only increased with time. When he looked at me, sometimes there was somthing in his eyes, almost like... disgust...

Nows Kaya really wanted to punch Hashirama. And Maybe sike Madara at him for good measure.

\- Bustuma died, Tobirama continued, and I felt relieved and happy, and at the same time, I was disgusted with myself, because despite everything... he still was my father...

He took a deep breath.

\- Hashirama became Clan Head, and I became Clan Heir... the Elders were apoplectic...

He snorted derisively.

\- Hashirama was hell bent on making peace with the Uchiha Clan, and we started butting heads more often. I was trying to make him see that his concessions and his attempts at peace were putting us in danger. I was tired of seeing my students cry, because their parents or their sibling had been killed... I knew most of these people didn't like me, but they were my Clan, and it was my duty to protect them.

Kaya nodded. And after that some people had the galls to say that Tobirama Senju was a heartless demon.

\- I know Hashirama wanted peace but Madara kept shooting up his attempts and our people kept dying and I couldn't stand for that. We opposed more and more violently and... he... he hit me...

Kaya's eyes widened.

\- I was... frozen... it was just a slap but, despite our differences, I never thought he would lay a hand on me... Hashirama apologized immediately and after that, he behaved like nothing happened, but something changed.. he... it was like suddenly he allowed himself to be violent with me... it was not always physical hits, sometimes he just lashed out with his chakra... but little by little, I became terrified of my brother... I don't... I don't know if he was violent on purpose or if he wasn't aware of what he was doing to me...

Now Kaya was furious. Absolutely and utterly furious. If she ever put her hands on Hashirama Senju, she would beat him bloody and feed him to her summons.

\- We were loosing grounds and warriors, and then the Uchiha invaded our compound... most of the people in it were evacuated or killed... but some of the children - Mayu and the other - disappeared... Now that I think about it, you probably put chakra restraining cuffs on them... but at the moment, I couldn't sense them anymore, I was mad with worry and we couldn't find them..

Kaya felt ashamed. She knew they were at war, but maybe some of their actions weren't necessary.

\- We thought they were dead... Hashirama was heartbroken, he couldn't believe Madara ordered to kill children... And I... I wanted to go back on the battlefield, I wanted to get revenge, I... I think I wanted to die at that moment...

Kaya chewed on her lower lips.

\- Hashirama didn't want to, said we had lost, said we should leave, but I was so furious, so desperate I kept insisting... I shouldn't have... Hashirama... lost his cool... he hit me... but he didn't stop there, he kept hitting me, I was on the ground, he was towering over me and I thought he was going to kill me...

He scrunched his nose, fighting back tears, and took a deep breath, twisting his fingers.

\- He started... telling me that everything was my fault, that we lost because of me, that the children died because of me... he screamed that Madara left him because of me, that I was just a heartless monster, that I couldn't understand... he called me a useless bastard...

And he was looking so sad, so desperate as he said these words that Kaya wanted to hug him tightly and never let go.

\- He struck me down again, and I thought it was going to be the end, and I was ready to accept it, because... I had disappointed him... but he told me to leave, to never appear before him ever again... he told me I was not a Senju anymore...

The tears started rolling on his cheeks, and he sniffled.

\- He left me, and I was sore and in so much pain, I crawled into a hole and rested... but I was like numb... if I was not a Senju, I was nothing... I wished someone would find me and end me... but no one came...

He smiled, pained.

\- I forced myself to stand up, to leave... I could sense Hashirama and the surviving Senju heading to Uzushio, but Hashirama forbade me to come, so I went south... I'd heard that the forest near the sea of Mizu was full of different ores so I decided to go there... It was three years ago, the rest is history...

Kaya bit her tongue and inhaled sharply. She would have to choose her next words carefully, not to hurt him.

\- Tobirama... are you aware that Hashirama is wrong ?

Tobirama blinked and shook his head.

\- No... he is not... I am... useless and unlovable... if even Hashirama can't love me, him who loves everybody, then something must be wrong with me...  
\- No Tobirama, it is not true... if someone put conditions to their affection, then it means something is wrong... he is your brother, he is supposed to love you no matter what... the problem doesn't come from you, it comes from him...

Tobirama shivered.

\- Tobirama, Kaya said, your trauma is cutting really deep and I understand that what you just did was incredibly difficult, but you did it. I know you think I do that because I am interested but today, I am making you a promise. I am going to help you, no matter what it takes. I am going to prove you that you are lovable and worthy. Okay ?

Shivering, eyes red with tears, Tobirama nodded.

\- Thank you, he sobbed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * dumps the pile of angst and runs *
> 
> And since it is mentionned several times in this chapter, Kaya summons grizzly bears.


	12. Leave my sunglasses on while I shed a tear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobirama meets new people.
> 
> Izuna makes progress in his therapy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is lighter than the last. Hope you will like it :)

After that session, Tobirama slept for two days straight, exhausted. When he woke up, it was to find Natsuki, Matsuri, Mayu and Sumire worried out of their minds. He apologized for scaring them and hugged each woman for a long moment. The two Uchiha were surprised, since it was the first time he initiated physical contact with them, but they reciprocated in earnest. The third day, Izuna came to the house to see him.

\- Hello, he said with a small smile.  
\- Hello, Tobirama answered, still looking exhausted.  
\- I... talked with Madara and the blacksmiths and they are okay to let you into the forge... Shoto is really interested by your designs and would like to talk to you...  
\- Who is Shoto ? Tobirama asked, arching an eyebrow.  
\- The Chief blacksmith...  
\- Oh.  
\- Do you... want to come ?

Tobirama licked his lips. He missed forge work after all. He turned to Matsuri.

\- Will you need me today ? he asked.  
\- Don't worry about us, young one, she said ruffling his hair, go have fun.

Tobirama smiled and thanked her, before turning back to Izuna.

\- I just need to come back in the aftrenoon, he said, I promised Mayu to help her with her katas.  
\- Of course, no problem !

Smiling weakly, Tobirama fetched his coat in his bedroom and followed Izuna. The forge were on the other side of the compound, a thirty minutes walk, and Tobirama stayed close to Izuna all the time it took to get there. He was cold, exhausted, and on edge. Even if Izuna had been nice recently, even if his presence somehow comforted him - as strange as it was - even if he could see that his rival was trying, Tobirama was still wary. Sometimes at night, the young Senju woke up suddenly and he could swear he was still feeling the ropes digging into his flesh. Fortunately, Zu was always here to help him deal with the nightmares and get back to sleep later. He didn't know in which state he would be if the dog wasn't here. But it was still difficult to relax when he was with the Uchiha.

\- I don't know what got into Kaya, Izuna grumbled, but she's angry. Yesterday she trained with Madara and she almost set him on fire.

Tobirama barely managed not to stop dead in his tracks. Kaya was angry... It was because of him ? Then he thought back about what she told him and decided that no, she wasn't angry at him. But then, did it mean she was angry on his behalf ? Tobirama felt a flutter in his chest.

\- Kaya is pregnant, he said, she is allowed to train ?  
\- This is not really training, Izuna shrugged, this is more her using me or Madara as moving targets and flinging fireballs at our heads till she is not angry anymore.

Tobirama, having just imagined the scene, let out a little snort, and missed Izuna's goofy smile at that. They finally reached the forge. The building was big, with an important part open on the outside. Tobirama could see at least a dozen people working here and he suddenly felt cold. They were Uchiha, he had probably killed their friends or their family members. Even if Nana and Kaya, and also Matsuri and Natsuki accepted him, nothing assured him that these men would do the same.

As he was debatting turning on his heels to run away, a sturdy man with wide shoulders and corded muscles got out of the forge. His torso was bare and he was wearing a leather apron. His heavy jet black hair were tied in a ponytail. He seemed to be in his early forties. When he saw Izuna, a wide grin spread his lips.

\- Hello lad !  
\- Hello Shoto !

The man - Shoto - quickly strode to them and hugged Izuna. Tobirama tensed a little. The man gave him a quick onceover before giving him his hand.

\- You're Tobirama, right ? Nice to meet you, lad !

Not wanting to be impolite, Tobirama took his hand and shook it.

\- Nice to meet you too, he said.

Shoto smiled even more widely.

\- Come, he said, corraling the two young men inside the forge, Izuna showed me the knife you forged. Had to say, I'm fucking impressed ! Never seen a weapon like that before ! It's not only beautiful and functionnal, it's also fucking resistant ! Truly you are a master craftman !

Tobirama blushed all the way to his hairline. He rubbed at his neck, trying to dissimumate his burning face.

\- It's... not that exceptionnal, he said.  
\- Are you kidding me ?! Each people in this forge think the same ! You've got a gift, lad...

Tobirama opened his mouth, closed it, blinked. He couldn't believe it. This man was an Uchiha. And Tobirama had been - still was ? - an ennemy. And yet...

The Senju never thanked him when he gave them weapons, took for granted the fact he would forge blades for them. They always had something to say about the flaws of the swords he produced, always bellittled his efforts. But Tobirama had bullied on, had studied and experimented and improved. If he always did better, they would have had to see that he was worth something, no ?

Toka was the only one who didn't do that. She thanked him, she asked questions, she showed interest, she helped him. He had forged her naginata for her eighteenth birthday, and it never broke. He remember fondly the face she had made when she had seen the weapon and the bear hug she had engulfed him in afterward.

\- Thank you, he said, voice quivering a little, I... can show you, if you want ?

Shoto's face lit up.

\- Gladly, lad ! I'm always eager to learn from a master !!

Tobirama was pretty sure steam just came out of his ears.

************

Izuna flopped on a cushion in Kaya's office, groaning. Kaya raised a brow.

\- Hard day ? she asked.  
\- I almost broke one of my fingers, hammering a nail, he grumbled, who would have thought building a house was so fucking difficult ?

Kaya snorted, knitting furiously.

\- You okay, cuz ? Izuna asked.  
\- Of course ! Why do you ask ?!  
\- Hum... you kinda look like you're planning a murder... or world domination...

Kaya laughed and put her knitting aside.

\- I am not planning anything, Izuna... I am just tired... the baby's been moving a lot lately and I have troubles sleeping...

Just as she said that, she bent in half, groaning, and clutching her belly.

\- Just what I said, she growled, this little one will be as hyperactive as his father...

Izuna laughed. Kaya's eyes zoomed in on him, before she started laughing too.

\- I'm gonna make you fight Madara for godfatherhood, just you wait...  
\- No way ! You know he goes ballistic on anyone trying to snatch godfatherhood from him !  
\- He's too greedy, Kaya smiled, he already appointed himself godfather of half the children in the compound...  
\- And he's bullying the other half's parents into naming him godfather...

They looked at each other and exploded in booming laughter.

\- Okay, Kaya said, drying her tears of mirth with her sleeve, off with the small talk. We're here for therapy.

She cracked her neck.

\- So, is there something in particular you wanted to tell me ?  
\- I... yes... I... hum... it's difficult to articulate..  
\- Take your time, okay ?

He nodded, breathing deeply, and twisted his fingers.

\- I've been thinking about what we saw in Tobirama's mind, and then I thought back about all the times I fought him, on the battlefield or in missions, and all the taunts and sneers I've thrown in his face... I've been so cruel... and I feel ashamed of myself... If only I could have seen...  
\- Izuna, I'm gonna stop you right here.

The young Uchiha closed his mouth, flabbergasted. Usually, Kaya let him finish his spiel before speaking.

\- I know where this is going, she continued, you're blaming yourself for not seeing anything, aren't you ?

He nodded.

\- Cousin, let me remind you something. One, you didn't have any means to know what was going on in Tobirama's head. Two, we were at war. You were fighting for the survival of your people and at the time, Tobirama was an ennemy.  
\- But...  
\- No but, cousin. It's not your fault Izuna. You were trying to protect the Uchiha. What happened on the other side was not your business.  
\- Maybe...  
\- Not maybe, Zuna. It was not. I've remarked something about you, cousin. With Madara, with Tobirama, even when we were loosing battles back during the war... You are always trying to shoulder the burdens, always blaming yourself for what went wrong, always think you are too weak or you could have done better...  
\- Because I could..!  
\- Let me finish, Izuna.

She took a deep breath.

\- Cousin, she said, you are a good man, with a heart at the right place.  
\- Yeah, Izuna snorted ironically, a good man who tortured a helpless person out of frustration.  
\- This was a mistake, Izuna. One, let me remind you, that you are actively seeking to repair. A lot of people wouldn't even have bothered. They would have washed their hands with the consequences. But not you.

Izuna's eyes were shiny with tears, his lips pinched.

\- Yo are facing your mistakes, she continued, you recognized them as such and you are trying to mend the damages. This is incredibly difficult to do, because seeing we were wrong and we caused pain because of it is difficult, but you are doing it.

A single tear rolled on Izuna's cheek. Kaya caught one of his hands in hers and squeezed gently.

\- I don't want you to blame yourself for something you didn't have control over, okay cousin ?

Izuna nodded, sniffling.

\- And I also want you to remember you are a good person.  
\- I'll try, he croacked.  
\- Of course, you'll do, Kaya smiled.

************

Tobirama was smiling despite himself. He corrected Mayu's form and showed her the next kata. The young girl immediately started practising it. Tobirama smiled and followed her with the kata, closing his eyes and breathing deeply.

His morning spent at the forge had been way better than he could have imagined. Shoto Uchiha was passionnate about his craft and that was something Tobirama respected. They had spent hour talking about smithing techniques and metalwork, jeweller's craft and so on... The other blacksmiths had soon joined them and before Tobirama knew it, they were all sitting around tea and cakes, drawing plans for a sword and discussing about the best designs for the guard of the weapon. He had forgotten he was among ennemies. Vibrating with energy and desire to create, he had promised them to come back tomorrow to start working on the project.

\- Tobi-sensei ? Mayu said.

He opened his eyes to look at her.

\- Yes Mayu ?  
\- You look happy...

He smiled and ruffled her hair.

\- I am, Mayu... more than I have been...

She smiled widely and hugged him around the waist, squeezing a little. Tobirama reciprocated. He was grateful, for Mayu, for Sumire, for the Senju children, for Natsuki and Matsuri, for Kaya and Nana and Reika... He shouldn't be, he knew.

But he didn't care, despite the little nagging voice at the back of his mind saying he should.

"It's not your fault."

Kaya's voice shut the other up and Tobirama smiled.


	13. It's never the right time, yeah, yeah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobirama is buried under fluff, love and affection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is fluff, people !

Tobirama was sitting on a cushion in Kaya's office. He was a little nervous. It was the first session since he told her everything and he apprehended it a little. He knew she told him she was gonna prove him he was lovable and worthy but he didn't know how she intended to do it and it scared him. He didn't know what he feared the most, that she failed or that she succeeded. Before he could delve deeper into his dark thoughts, the door opened and Kaya and Nana entered, carrying two big boxes that they set on the floor. Nana then waved goodbye to Tobirama, who answered shyly, and exited the room. Kaya sat on the teddy bear with a sigh.

\- Hello Tobirama, she said with a big smile, how are you today ?  
\- I am... fine...  
\- Good. I heard that you started working in the forge with Shoto...  
\- Yes... we're working on a sword... they are very nice...

Kaya grinned.

\- Looks like I'm gonna have my work cut out for me, she said.

She clapped her hands.

\- Good ! Tobirama, do you remember what I told you the other time ?  
\- You told me you were gonna prove me that I was... lovable and w... worthy...  
\- Exactly. And we are starting now..

He opened his mouth to say something but didn't. Kaya saw it.

\- Don't be afraid to speak, Tobirama. I'm here to listen to what you have to tell, no matter what it is...

He nodded and gulped.

\- What if it doesn't work ? he asked, a knot in his throat.

Kaya smiled, but her smile was sad.

\- Tobirama, she said, you are lovable and worthy. It's just that you aren't able to see it because of the abuse you experienced...  
\- It was not... really... abuse...  
\- It was Tobirama... being belittled, shut down and physically assaulted, this is abuse... And like I said, you are not the one at fault here...  
\- But he was my Clan Head and I... disrespected him...  
\- What do you mean exactly when you say that you disrespected him ?  
\- I... went against him... I tried to change his mind...  
\- Tobirama, you are a person in your own right. You are entitled to have your own opinions and to express them safely...

Tobirama twisted his hands.

\- Me and Madara butt heads all the time, but he never ever hit me. Sometimes, family members fight. It happens. But what happened to you was abuse and it was wrong.

Tobirama inhaled and nodded shakily.

\- To answer your question, it is gonna work, because I am not gonna let go till you are fully convinced that you are worthy. And if I have to bury you under love and affection to do so, so be it !

Tobirama snorted and grinned despite himself. Kaya laughed.

\- See, you're smiling ! I'm not so bad at my job !

She cracked her neck.

\- So, you are lovable. First proof being...

She stood up and opened the two boxes.

\- ... that !

An army of cats got out, mewling and looking curiously at Tobirama. The young man felt his eyebrows raise to his hairline.

\- Stay where you are and don't move, Kaya instructed.

Tobirama did as he was told, staying still as cats roamed the room. Little by little, the cats turned their attention on him. Before he could do anything, two grey cats had jumped on his knees and flopped there, looking at him haughtily and purring. Another jumped on his shoulders and drapped themselves here. A tiny kitten had even climbed on his head and was purring at full volume. Several cats were rubbing their heads against his legs or his back, trying to have his attention. Tobirama laughed a little.

\- See ? Kaya smiled, the cats love you !

She let him enjoy the purring mass of felines a little longer before speaking again.

\- Cats are really good judges of character, she said, they tend to avoid cruel people. So if the cats love you, it means you're a good person.

Tobirama wetted his lips.

\- The cats of the Senju never approached my father, he said.  
\- See ? Just what I said !

Tobirama smiled weakly and went back to petting the cats.

************

Tobirama joined Shoto at the forge the next day. Natsuki and Matsuri had all but pushed him there, assuring him they didn't need his help today and that he should go have fun. He was already planning to craft something to thank them, he just needed to ask Shoto if he could use the metal. Mayu was with Reika, working on a Katon jutsu. After they had discovered the young girl was fire-natured, Reika had immediately called dibs on teacherhood, beating Madara to the spot, to the man great disappointment. Reika had just rolled her eyes, swatted him over the head and told him not to be greedy. It had taken all of Tobirama's willpower not to laugh.

At the forge, Shoto welcommed him warmly and the other blacksmiths patted his shoulders as he put on a leather apron. Tobirama felt like he was going to spontaneously combust. He wasn't used to so much affectionnate contact.

The day passed in a blur. Tobirama spent it hammering and folding a steel brick, till he was satisfied of the results. They would use it the next day to make the blade. By the end of it, Tobirama was so sweaty his shirt was sticking to his skin, his muscles were crying for mercy and he would kill for a glass of water but damn, he felt good and alive, and he remembered how much he missed working in a forge.

\- Well ! Shoto said enthousiastically, clapping his hands, this has been a greta day !

He turned to Tobirama, who was getting out of his leather apron.

\- Hey lad, wanna come with us to the onsen ?!

Tobirama raised a brow.

\- I... hum... what is an onsen ?

Everybody turned to him with shocked faces. Tobirama flinched, sure he had done something wrong.

\- You don't know what is an onsen ? Shoto asked, flabbergasted.  
\- ... no... sorry ?  
\- No ! Don't be sorry ! You have nothing to be sorry for !  
\- Well you're coming with us ! another blacksmith said, you'll see, it's the best place on earth !  
\- Oh ? What is it exactly ? Tobirama asked.

He felt a little better now that he knew that the blacksmiths weren't angry with him.

\- Hot springs, Shoto answered, grinning.

Tobirama's head whipped in his direction, pupils dilated and nostrils flaring.

\- Baths ? he said in a low voice.

The blacksmiths exploded in booming laughter.

\- It's true that you are water-natured, the blacksmith from a few minutes ago said (his name was Kato if Tobirama wasn't mistaken), you'll see, you're gonna love it !

Feeling light-headed, Tobirama followed them to a part of the compound he'd never been to. The little troop of blacksmiths stopped in front of a huge building with white walls and a roof of red tiles. Tobirama could see the vapor coming from behind it, he could smell the water and he was vibrating with restlessness.

Hot water had been a luxury, back at the Senju compoud, and he never indulged in it (Butsuma never let him and after his death, he was just to busy to try). He used to go swim in the lake near the compound, and he never felt more free and well than when he was diving in its depths. But an entire spring full of hot water...

It was like a dream come true !

He followed Shoto and the other blacksmiths inside the building and inside the changing room. He hesitated a little when he saw he had to strip entirely. Spending his entire life with dark-skinned people did quite some damages on his self-esteem and his body image. Especially when a lot of these people called him wraith or ghost or rat whever he was within earshot.

Toka usually beat them over the head with the guard of her naginata and told them to shove it. Then she went back to him and told him not to listen to them, that they were just jealous fuckers and that she thought he was pretty anyway.

(He missed her so much).

As he disrobed, he felt lingering stares on his skin. But these were not the cold and cruel stares he was used to. They felt more curious. When he turned back, with only a towel around his hips, he surprised several blacksmiths looking at him with wide eyes and blushes. Even Shoto had a raised eyebrow and was looking a little impressed.

Shrugging, not knowing what to think of this, Tobirama followed them into the washing room, where they cleaned their skin of the sweat and the grim. Tobirama already felt like he was gonna melt because hot water, hot water everywhere... He was like a little kid presented with too many gifts. The blacksmiths smiled when they saw how happy he was.

Then they went to the hot spring part and the young man felt like he just entered heaven.

\- See ? Kato said, I told you it would be great !

Tobirama nodded, speachless.

Then he jumped in the water.

************

Izuna was happily boiling in the hot springs like an overcooked lobster, relaxing after a long day. His project was progressing well, he had not broken any of his fingers or hammered them by mistake. So all in all, a good day.

As he was stretching, a little troop of men entered the baths. Izuna recognized Shoto and his blacksmiths. However, he was not prepared to see Tobirama among them.

A very, very naked Tobirama.

Izuna's brain stopped functionning and he became instantly redder than the Sharingan.

Tobirama, not seeing him, jumped in the water and Izuna could only watche as he resurfaced, wet to the bone, joy softening his features. He felt his heart miss a beat.

Damn !

He knew that Tobirama was objectively gorgeous. He had eyes, thank you very much. But there was objectively knowing it and then there was being confronted to the fact. And Izuna was not prepared. At all.

Tobirama was incredibly tall by Uchiha standards, with wide shoulders. Not as wide as Madara, but Madara was small, compact and (a angry hedgehog waving a gunbai) Izuna's brother, so he wouldn't go there. Tobirama, on the other hand, was perfectly proportionned, with long legs, long arms, a narrow waist to match his shoulders and a pretty perky ass that made Izuna's mouth go very dry. He lowered himself in the water till only his face was visible, to dissimulate the fact that a certain part of his anatomy was suddenly very interested.

He didn't need Madara to lecture him on public indecency, thank you very much. The situation was mortifying enough as it was.

And like it wasn't enough, Tobirama was battlefit - he had gained back the weight he had lost during his captivity - with sinuous and corded muscles. And Izuna was internally combusting, because his first crush ever had been on Shoto and that was how he realized he had a muscle kink. And Tobirama was so pale and so pretty and he had a cute laugh too, and Izuna didn't know how to process this information.

Damn, he wanted to see him smile and hear him laugh till the end of his life...

It was at this moment that Tobirama turned in his direction and his eyes widened slightly when he saw him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I headcannon Madara as small and impossibly wide, by Uchiha standards (Izuna is one inch and a half taller and he lords it over him ^^). And with muscles, because the man is fighting with a fucking gunbai, so let's face it, he must have biceps to die for !
> 
> So in one word : small brickwall Madara :D


	14. I put my armor on, show you how strong I am

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobirama and Izuna fell prey to wet dreams.

When Tobirama saw Izuna in the spring, his cheeks heated up, and it was not because of the warmth of the spring. He knew it was a public bath and that there were nothing inherently sexual with his nakedness, but this was the first time Izuna was ever seeing him naked - and the first time he was ever seeing Izuna naked - and he didn't know how he felt about it.

He couldn't deny that he had feelings for the man. Tobirama was usually very good at lying to himslef. But he wasn't succeeding with that one, surprinsingly. Maybe it was because the man had been gentle with him for weeks now. Tobirama had started to think again that maybe Izuna had feelings for him too.

But rationnally, he knew that was not the case. Izuna was interested, he wanted him to heal Madara's eyes. Tobirama was just a mean to an end. A tool. Shoto dragged him out of his dark thoughts. The elder man threw an arm on Tobirama's shoulders, laughing.

\- So, lad ? he said, do you like the onsen ?

Tobirama smiled widely, the numbness from a minute ago nothing but a bad memory.

\- Yeah, I love it ! I didn't imagine such a place could exist !

Shoto laughed and ruffled Tobirama's hair. The young man heard a sound like a boiling keetle and when he looked in its direction, he was surprised to see it was coming from Izuna, who was so red he looked purple and ready to faint. Tobirama raised an eyebrow.

\- Are you okay ? he asked, a little concerned.  
\- Yes ! Yes I'm okay !

Izuna had stood up, arms extended before him and hands outstretched, like ashield. He was very pointedly not looking at Tobirama. The Senju laughed softly. That made Izuna become even redder, if that was possible. Shoto was scruting them like an hawk, calculative.

A few minutes later, Tobirama was sitting in the water with Kato and a few other blacksmiths, discussing about jeweller's craft. Two meters away, Shoto was enjoying the hot water, next to an exhausted Izuna. The young man was stealing glances of Tobirama from the corner of his eyes and Shoto was not missing it. He rolled his eyes.

\- He's pretty, he said.

Izuna spluttered. Shoto snorted. Young ones...

\- Kato thinks so. So does Taro, and Sora...

Izuna was looking close to apoplexy. Shoto looked pointedly at him, face blank, with a done stare.

\- What I'm trying to tell you, lad, is that if you like him, grow a pair and start courting him. Or someone else will do it...

Izuna was looking ashamed and conflicted.

\- I hurt him, he whispered regretfully.

He was looking at Tobirama with longing in his eyes.

\- Believe me, lad, Shoto saaid looking at the sky, you're probably not the only one.

The elder man chewed on his lower lip, looking quickly at the young Senju.

\- He's strong, you know, he continued, smart, competent. But he's also fragile. He's hiding it well, I'll give him that. But sometimes, he reacts like a dog who's been beaten too often and is scared of humans.

Izuna paled.

\- I think he hates me, he grumbled.

Shoto almost facepalmed. He really didn't know how Kaya did to deal with that idiot without strangling him.

************

Tobirama was woken up by the tension in his groin. He sent a look between his legs and yes, he was hard as fuck. Exhaling slowly through his nose, he tried to calm down and will out his boner.

He had dreamt of Izuna. They had been fighting, but the fight had soone evolved into something else, something more heated, more intimate. Tobirama had found himself on his back, Izuna straddling him, warm as an inferno, and kissing him like he wanted to steal the air directly from his lungs.

They had been rutting against each other like dogs in heat. As they tore at each other's clothes, Tobirama had woken up, vibrating with restlessness. He was mortified. As far as he could recall, it was the first time he ever had a wet dream.

He blushed all the way to his hairline, embarrassement washing over him like a tidal wave, and he curled into a ball. He really couldn't believe he had dreamt about that. But he found he wanted that. The softness, the tenderness, the intimacy, the heat... He wanted that badly... with Izuna...

Mortified, Tobirama buried his face in his pillow.

************

If Tobirama had woken up before making a mess, it was not Izuna's case. When he opened his eyes, feeling sweaty and boneless, he felt a wetness between his legs and his sheets were sticky. With a groan, Izuna rubbed his face. It wasn't the first time that kind of things happened to him - hello puberty ! - but it didn't make it any less embarrassing.

He had dreamt of Tobirama.

Namely, he had dreamt of Tobirama naked, sprawled on silk sheets as red as his eyes like an indecent god waiting to be worshipped. He had welcomed Izuna with a seductive smile and open arms, had kissed him and knelt before him and opened like the sea, and Izuna had been lost. He had wished he had a thousand more eyes to admire him and a thousand more hands to touch him.

He had woken up as he reached his peak. And now he was lying in his bed in a sticky mess, like teenager who couldn't control himself. His mind was filled with images of snow white skin drapped over bulging muscles, like the most mouth watering display ever.

The taste he had gotten at the onsen was not enough. He needed to see more.

************

Tobirama was sitting in Kaya's office, playing with Mr Truffle, when she entered, a hand on her belly and a pained grimace on her face. She was well into her seventh month of pregnancy and she was starting to have troubles walking for too long. She flopped on her teddy bear with a deep sigh.

\- Are you okay ? Tobirama asked, feeling concerned.  
\- Yeah, don't worry... I just didn't sleep well, the baby didn't stop kicking... I think he's impatient being born...

She rubbed her brow before smiling wearily.

\- To be honest, I'll be happy when it will finally be the case.

She laughed and Tobirama smiled despite himself. She cracked her neck.

\- Very well, Tobirama, we're going to start. Is there something you want to talk about before we get to the exercises ?

Tobirama thought briefly about the wet dream he had about Izuna and barely managed not to blush. He put on a blank face he hoped was convincing.

\- No, nothing of importance...

Kaya nodded.

\- Okay, we're going to start with the exercises. I think one of your biggesst problems is that you don't love yourself. So here is what we are gonna do today. You're going to tell me all the negative things you think about yourself and I am going to debunk them. Okay ?

Tobirama laughed mirthlessly.

\- This is gonna be easy on my part, he said, not so much on yours.  
\- Let me be the judge of that. Do you want to start now or do you want to wait a little ?  
\- No, it's okay. Let's do this...

He sighed and pulled lightly at his own hair.

\- I am a monster, he said, face blank.  
\- I am gonna need you to be more precise, but I can already tell you that no, you are not a monster.  
\- I am heartless and ruthless. People literally call me the White Demon.  
\- I am gonna start with ruthless. Stop me if I am wrong but you say that because you're reputed to kill people quickly, right ?  
\- Yes...  
\- How is that a bad thing ?  
\- I beg your pardon ?  
\- How is killing people quickly a bad thing ? In our line of work, killing someone quickly is an act of mercy. And you had to protect your people, you couldn't let your ennemies live...  
\- Yes but...

He chewed on his lip, searching a flaw in her reasonning, finding none.

\- Now you say that you are heartless. But you stayed with people who abused you, you fought for them, you bled for them. The children love you, claim you are the best teacher they ever had. You help Natsuki and Matsuri and you never complain. A heartless person would never have done that.

Tobirama bit his tongue, eyes wet.

\- As for your White Demon nickname... we were at war, it was a kind of propaganda, to dirty your name... I mean, Madara was called Scourge of the Battlefield...

She suddenly snorted. Tobirama raised a brow.

\- I even think a clan from the desert nicknamed him the Porcupine from Hell.

She laughed and Tobirama's eyes widened, the corner of his mouth quirking up.

\- He seemed to have made quite an impression, he said.  
\- Oh, you have no idea...

She smiled warmly.

\- Okay... so do we agree, Tobirama ? You are not a monster, you are not heartless, and your ruthlessness is not a bad thing per se.

Tobirama nodded, feeling the knot in his throat unravel a little. He wasn't aware of how much he needed to hear these words.

\- Thank you... he breathed.  
\- You're welcome Tobirama. Now, do you want to continue ?  
\- Yes... there are still things I want to say...

He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

\- I have no morals, he finally said, twisting his hands.  
\- You're saying that becaus eof the Edo Tensei ?  
\- Yes... among other things...

Kaya concentrated for a minute.

\- Tobirama, do you consider that shinobi are moral people ?  
\- I... not really, no...  
\- Don't you think it's a little hypocrite for shinobi to emit a judgement on someone's morality ?

Tobirama gaped a little, not knowing what to think. He had troubles wrapping his head around the idea.

\- But even shinobi follow rules, he said, and I...  
\- You consider you broke them...  
\- I did !

The first - and only - time he had used Edo Tensei in battle, Hashirama had been furious. Tobirama had used the jutsu as a last ressort. The Senju had been clearly outnumbered and their warriors were dying en masse. Edo Tensei had completely changed the course of the battle and the Senju had won. BUt when they had come back to the compound, Hashirama had locked them up in his office and given Tobirama one of the worst beating he ever underwent. He still remembered his brother's chakra trashing as his hands were squeezing Tobirama's throat.

"Use that thing again and I'll kill you" Hashirama had said.

The marks of strangulation on his throat had lasted for weeks. Tobirama shivered just thinking about it. He grabbed an end of his fur pelt to calm himself.

\- Are you okay, Tobirama ? Kaya asked, sounding worried.  
\- I...

He shook his head, trying to regulate his breathing. It was like Hashirama's hands were around his neck again and he couldn't breathe. Kaya snapped her fingers in front of his face, stopping his flashback.

\- Tobirama !

He looked at her with a ragged breath.

\- Do you allow me to touch you ?

He nodded, shivering. She caught his elbows.

\- Breathe deeply, okay ? I don't know what you are seeing right now and you don't have to tell me. But please remember that it's not happening. You are here, with me, and you are safe.

Gradually, he managed to calm down. Kaya let go of him.

\- Sorry...  
\- You don't have to be sorry, Tobirama. It's not your fault. Maybe we should stop here...

Tobirama looked guiltily at her, but nodded. He wasn't ready to continue.

\- We'll continue next session then. In the meantime, I want you to think about your qualities, okay ? You'll tell your conclusions next time.

He stood up, nodding weakly.

\- Tobirama, Kaya said as he was about to get out, please don't feel guilty for what just happened.  
\- It's difficult not to...  
\- You've been a victim of abuse, Tobirama. Panic attack are unfortunately frequent, but they are not your fault.

He looked at her for a long time. A question was burning his lips. He decided to give it a go.

\- Kaya... why are you loosing your time helping me ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was supposed to be mostly fluff, but then it became angst... Sorry :/
> 
> Izuna the trainwreck will be back in the next chapter !


	15. I put my armor on, I'll show you that I am

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izuna gets scolded for being an idiot.

Kaya raised a brow, perplexed.

\- What do you mean ? she asked.

He bit his lower lip, wondering for a moment if he should push further, if he shouldn't just let the matter go. But he ultimatedly decided against it. Kaya had told him he could tell her everything, after all. He crossed his arm on his chest, defensive.

\- You have the Sharingan. My chakra is sealed. You could brainwash me at any given moment, make me forget who I am, make me a pawn for the Uchiha. Why don't you do it ?

Kaya frowned slightly and looked at him in silence for so long Tobirama started feeling uneasy. Then she stood up with some difficulties to get at eye level with him. For a tense, frozen second, Tobirama thought she would activate her Sharingan and actually brainwash him. He held his breath. But Kaya's eyes remained black.

\- I could have done that, she said, to be honest, if we had discovered you could heal the Sharingan in any other circumstances, it's probably what I would have done.

Tobirama tensed, surprised by the sudden admission.

\- What is so special about the circumstances ? he asked carefully, throat tight.  
\- You saved Izuna. Without asking for anything in return.  
\- It's not...  
\- It is. Important. I am not cruel Tobirama. I will not rob the mind of someone who helped a kin of mine.

Tobirama bit his lower lip so hard he almost broke skin.

\- If I tell you it was a selfish action...  
\- Selfish or not, it doesn't matter. You might not know it Tobirama, but Izuna was going blind. You litterally saved him. For an Uchiha, blindness is worse than death.

She frowned in pain as she said that and that was enough for Tobirama to remember that she had the Mangekyo too and that blindness was athreat looming over her too. He chewed on his lower lip.

\- I don't care what your reasons were. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. The fact is that you saved him and I am grateful, because no matter how often we butt head, I love this idiot.

She snorted derisively.

\- Furthermore, she continued, believe me or not, but I do appreciate you, Tobirama. So no, this is not me loosing my time, this is me helping a friend.

Tobirama's lower lip woobled despite himself. He dragged a hand down his face, sighing deeply to gain back the control of his nerves, and smiled weakly.

\- I feel stupid now, he said.  
\- You really don't have to. Given the history between our clans, it was a normal question to ask yourself.

He breathed through his nose.

\- Thank you...

Fuck, he wished he had known her sooner.

************

Izuna knew he was doing something wrong, forbidden even, but he really, really couldn't help himself. He needed to see, needed to watch. You really couldn't blame him. Well maybe Kaya could because he was late to their session, but this was currently the last of his worries.

Crouched behind a bush near the communal forges, he was peeking over the leaves to get a good view of Tobirama.

The Senju was working on a station near the forges' gates. Due to the heat of the day combined with the heat of the forges, he had gotten rid of his shirt and was wearing only his pants, his leather apron and his blacksmith gloves. Heavy beads of sweat were rolling down his naked back, muscles taunt like steel ropes under the snow white skin, which had a pink hue due to the infernal heat of the forges.

Tobirama was utterly concentrated on his task, hammering the folded brick of steel to lengthen it, giving it the shape of a blade. The muscles of his back were shifting, his shoulders were rolling and Izuna was boiling quietly behind his bush, thirsting so much he absentmindedly feared he was gonna die from dehydratation here and there.

Amaterasu's knickers, it was even better than his dreams ! He wished he could just walk there and kiss Tobirama's back an djust lick the sweat off his skin and bend him over his workstation and... Or better, have Tobirama carry him and fuck him just like that ! He was pretty sure the Senju was strong enough to do it, even without chakra. Just imagining the display of strength was enough to make Izuna feel very hot under the collar. Oh, the way Tobirama's biceps would flex...

Absorbed as he was in his vivid daydream, Izuna totally missed a furious Kaya's stomping arrival. Only when he was whacked over the head by a heavy roll of paper did he remark his cousin's presence. Kaya was looking enraged and ready to bite someone's head off.

\- What the fuck, cousin ?! I've been looking for you for an hour now and...!

Izuna caught her by the sleeve and forced her to crouch behind the bush with him, one of his hands covering her mouth to drown out her screeches, just as Tobirama turned around in their general direction, alerted by the noise. Not seeing anything, he shrugged and went back to his work.

Izuna waited for a minute and risked a peek over the bush approximately at the same time Kaya bit his hand. Hard. Izuna yelped, indignant, and craddled his hand against his chest, scowling at his cousin, who scowled harder in answer.

\- The fuck, cuz ? he groaned.  
\- The fuck ?! You are asking me that ?! she whispered shouted, her teeth bared, we had a session ! I've been searching the whole compound for you !  
\- Sorry, Izuna said sheepishly, I forgot...  
\- You forgot ?! What the fuck were you doing that made you forget ?!

Before Izuna could stop her, she had stood up. Her eyes fell on Tobirama, widened and she crouched back behind the bush, looking at Izuna like she internally debatted setting him on fire there and then. Izuna winced, waiting for the storm that would no doubt come.

\- You were spying on Tobirama ? she growled, deceptively calm.  
\- I... uh... yes ?  
\- May I ask why ?

Her voice and her chakra were unnaturally controlled and Izuna felt like he was going to die in a few seconds. Even seven months pregnant, Kaya was terrifying.

\- Well, you see... I... saw him at the hot springs a few days ago... and he was so pretty and I talked with Shoto... but then I had a... dream about him and... well... you know ?  
\- And your logical reaction to all of that was acting like a full-fledged creep ?

Kaya was smiling, arms crossed on her chest. It was not a nice smile. It was the kind of smile a cat would give a mouse just befor eit ate their head.

\- I... might have overreacted ? he tried.  
\- No, you think ?

Izuna looked at his feet, ashamed. Kaya dragged a hand down her face, exhausted by her idiot cousin's antics.

\- But he's so pretty, Izuna whimpered, and so...

He bit his lower lip.

\- You want him but you consider you don't have the right to because of what you did to him, right ?

Izuna nodded.

\- What prevents you from trying ?  
\- But I...  
\- Yes, you hurt him. You admitted it and you are making amends.  
\- But what if he says no ?  
\- Izuna, he is his own person. He doesn't live for you. If he says yes, then it's wonderful, but if he says no, then he says no, and you ahve to accept it and get over it. But you will never know if you don't try.

Izuna twisted his hands and Kaya felt a pang of pity for him. One-sided love was never funny. Even if she knew it probably wasn't one-sided at all, but she couldn't say that. And she was seeing the moment she would have to lock them both in a reinforced closet get nearer and nearer with detached dread. She knew Reika had started a betting pool.

\- Maybe start slowly ? she tried, invite him to eat or something ?  
\- I... yes, I can do that !

Kaya smiled.

\- Great, she said, we had this session in the end. Now follow me cousin, I need to throw fireballs at someone !

Izuna wailed and tried to run, but Kaya grabbed his collar and dragged him cheerfully to the training grounds.

************

When Tobirama left the forge that evening, after bidding goodbye to Shoto and the other guys, it was to be welcomed by a very singed Izuna, who waved sheepishly at him.

\- Hello ?  
\- Hello, Izuna squeacked.  
\- Did you get burnt ?  
\- Oh no, it was just Kaya being a little rough on the training field. You know, pregnant women, hormones, all that...

Tobirama nodde, out of politeness more than anything. Kaya had always seemed calm and collected to him, despite her advanced pregnancy. He'd rather suspected Izuna was searching excuses after he angered her over something and she retaliated like any Uchiha worth their salt, with fire.

Sometimes, he wondered how they all managed to cohabit without setting each others on fire.

\- You wanted something ? he asked.

Izuna blushed all the way to his hairline and started stuttering. Tobirama raised a brow.

\- I... uh... Lunch !  
\- Uh ?  
\- Would you like to have lunch with me tomorrow ?

Now it was Tobirama's turn to blush. Izuna's tone was so hopeful. He wanted to hope too. Just one time, he wanted to delude himself in peace.

\- Okay...

************

Izuna had led him to a little clearing near the outskirts of the compound. It was cute, and almost intimate. They sat down on the grass and Izuna opened the basket he had taken with him. Tobirama accepted an onigiri with a small smile and looked where Zu was happily chasing a butterfly. The dog gave up quickly and went back to his master, panting, tail waggling. He nuzzled Tobirama's cheek, who cooed and petted his head. Then he sprawled on the ground, his head on Tobirama's lap. The Senju idly scratched him behind the ears as he ate. Izuna tried very hard not to be jealous of the dog. With mitigated success.

\- Your project is progressing ? he asked, curious.  
\- Oh yes. The blade is finished, I just need to do the guard.

He then launched on a speech about the ore and the diffrences of carbon rate and how it affected the proprieties of the metal. Izuna listened intently. He wasn't understanding half of what Tobirama was saying but the Senju's cheeks were pink with delight and his smile wide as he disserted. Izuna was happy he was feeling comfortable enough around him to let his armor crack. Amaterasu, they had gone a long way.

\- That's really cool ! Have you decided who you are gonna give the sword to ?  
\- Yes. Reika...

Izuna felt a pinch of jealousy, but he guessed it couldn't be helped. Tobirama had grown close to Reika since she gave him the dog. Speaking of that, Tobirama snuck a piece of onigiri to Zu, who swallowed it whole, whimpering happily.

\- You're spoiling him, Izuna snarked.  
\- I'm spoiling him because he is a good boy, Tobirama siad with as much dignity as he could muster - which was a lot - while scratching the dog's head.  
\- I could be a good boy too, Izuna grumbled under his breath.

Tobirama's face whipped toward him, eyes wide, mouth gaping. This was only at this moment that Izuna understood the double meaning of what he just said. He blushed so fast Tobirama feared he was gonna faint, then made a keetle noise and there went the Senju's self-control. He started roaring with laughter and fell on his back on the grass.

\- This is not funny ! Izuna screeched.

But Tobirama didn't stop laughing so Izuna pounced on him with a fake warcry and they rolled on the grass, play wrestling, Izuna tickling Tobirama and the Senju struggling weakly against the assault, cackling.

When they finally stopped to breath, Izuna became aware that he was basically sprawled on Tobirama and that their faces were really close.


	16. I'm unstoppable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izuna resumes being an idiot.
> 
> The blacksmiths are nerds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey dears ! Long time no see :)

Tobirama blinked, licking his lips nervously. Izuna's face was so close to his that their breaths were mingling. And his body was hard and heavy on his. And Tobirama wasn't sure if he wanted the Uchiha to get off, the weight on his body reassuring in a strange way. Grounding.

And Izuna didn't seem hurrying to get off either. He was still sprawled on Tobirama, looking at him in the eyes, breath quite short. A shiver tickled down the Senju's spine and he wondered what would happen if he just closed the distance between them and kissed Izuna. He was scared, nervous, but at the same time, a strange and burning desire was simmering in his guts.

Izuna still hadn't moved. His tongue darted out of his mouth to wet his lips. Tobirama felt something hard nudge his right hip, and he was sure this wasn't a kunai. He blushed, feeling hot, his breath shortening. This was funny, he thought, this was almost like his dream. Tobirama knew this wasn't a good idea, knew he shouldn't, but he wanted and apparently, Izuna wanted too and for once... for once...

Then, Zu barrelled against them, barking happily, clearly trying to help his master. The labrador nudged Izuna's face with his nose and then licked him from chin to eyebrow and Izuna shot up with a disgusted yelp and the charm was broken. Tobirama snorted, Izuna's offended expression too hilarious to resist.

The two young men straightened up and arranged their clothes, that were quite askew. Tobirama hugged Zu and scratched the dog between the ears, cooing softly. He was nervous at the idea to look at Izuna. Finally, he glanced at the Uchiha, kneeling next to him, blushing, trying to brush his hair with his fingers.

\- I won, Izuna said petulantly.

Tobirama recognized a tentative to break the tension and he gratefully accepted the olive branch.

\- Oh, really ? he crooned, I rather think you yielded before Zu...

Izuna inhaled comically, bristling like a wet cat. Tobirama gave him a teasing smile, despite the way his heart was beating in is throat.

\- Excuse you, how dare..?! Izuna screeched.

Tobirama smiled and bit his tongue not to laugh again.

\- Very well, O Mighty Uchiha Lord, you won.  
\- Damn right ! Izuna huffed, blushing.

The rest of the luch was spent in a companionable silence, and Izuna escorted Tobirama back to Matsuri and Natsuki's house. He bid gooodbye to the Senju and went his own way, blushing and almost sauntering, which immediately grabbed Mayu's attention. She jumped next to Tobirama and hang herself to his arm.

\- Sensei, she asked with a toothy smile, is Izuna-san you lover ?

Tobirama's face instantly became tomato red.

\- Mayu ! he flailed, what ?! no ! How did you get that idea ?!  
\- But Izuna-san is always smiling when he is with you and he looks at you like Matsu-obaa-chan looks at Natsu-obaa-chan !  
\- I... uhm... we...

Mayu's words hit him. Did Izuna really look at him like that ? He had never noticed anything. He had never really looked either, convinced that Izuna wanted nothing to do with him, that he should stop imagining things, that he should stop hoping. That he should bury his feelings under a wall of ice and never touvh them ever again. Sighing, he knelt in front of Mayu and ruffled her hair.

\- We are not lovers, Mayu...  
\- But you could be...  
\- This... this is complicated...  
\- But do you want to ?

She seemed worried for him. Biting his lower lip, Tobirama looked at the street where Izuna had disappeared then back at Mayu.

\- Promise me you won't say anything ? he pleaded.  
\- I promise, she said, face hardened in a serious expression, cross my heart.

Tobirama smiled softly.

\- Yes, he said, I want to...

He felt his throat tighten as the words left his mouth. He wanted that. He's been wanting that for years, been wanting to have someone he could love and cherish and that would love and cherish him in return. And Izuna... Izuna was the warrior who would go toe to toe with him the rival fate had placed on his path, the man who respected him, who always did his best to counter him and in the haze of sadness that had overtaken Tobirama's life, he had latched onto these feelings and didn't let go. It was either that, deluding himself into thinking Izuna might return his feelings, or letting himself die, too cold, too alone, too sad to resist the call of darkness. During the three years of his exile, some nights, only the thought of Izuna had prevented him to take a blade to his throat. His brother, his clan didn't want him anymore. Toka would have been sad, but she probably thought him dead, so in the end, it wouldn't have made a difference.

The little hand of Mayu on his cheek got him out of his dark thoughts. He noticed tears were rolling on his cheeks. Mayu seemed really worried now. Slowly, Tobirama dried his tears and tried to smile to reassure the little girl.

\- Why are you sad ? she asked in a little voice.  
\- It's... its' nothing, Mayu, don't worry...  
\- I don't like when you are sad, she said.

She hugged him and he reciprocated, burying his face in her hair. He stood up, carrying her inside, the little girl hanging off him like a limpet. Tobirama smiled when Matsuri came to see what was happening and grinned when she saw the two of them. It was gonna be okay, he thought. He was still sad, still hurting, the traumas still rnning deep. But he was getting better.

It would be okay.

************

Izuna was sprawled face down on the carpet of Madara's office, whining about how stupid he was. At least, it was what his brother was understanding from the gargle that was escaping Izuna's mouth. Rolling his eyes, Madara stood up from his desk, grabbed Izuna by the back of his yukata and threw him through the window. Izuna flied on several meters and landed heavily in the koi pond. Huffing, pulling on his own yukata to straighten the folds, Madara quietly left his office and went on the engawa, just in time to see Izuna surfacing, spiting water. Soaked, Izuna came to sit next to his brother, grumbling.

\- So, got clearer ideas ? Madara groaned.  
\- Oh, fuck you, Izuna snarled, twisting his yukata to get the water out.

That earned him another trip in the pond. When he came back again, leaving water everywhere, Izuna groaned and lay on the engawa next to Madara, spread eagle.

\- I am an idiot, Izuna bemoaned.  
\- What is new ? Madara said, so what did you do ?

Izuna told him what had happened at lunch and it took all of Madara's willpower not to facepalm. Sometimes he wondered if Izuna hadn't been rocked too close to a wall when he was a baby.

\- So you almost kissed him, Madara groaned.  
\- Yes ! Izuna wailed, my face was this close to his ! This close !

He held two of his fingers really close in front of Madara's face, who batted his hand away.

\- And then his dog stopped me... but if it hadn't happened... I would have kissed him...

He threw his hands in the air and whined.

\- I am an idiot... I know he's still hurt by wha I did to him and like an idiot, I was ready to hurt him more just to satisfy myself...  
\- Well, Madara said, I am relieved the dog did stop you...  
\- Why ? Thinking a Senju is not good enough for me ?  
\- No. As long as you are happy, I don't care who you fall in love with.

He chewed on his lower lip.

\- No, I think that Tobirama is technically a prisonner. If you had kissed him, that would have been an abuse of power...

Izuna became green. Madara patted his shoulder, trying to comfort him. Izuna screwed his eyes shut and exhaled through his nose.

\- What can I do ? he asked.

His voice was soft, and quiet.

\- Do you love him ? Madara asked.

Izuna thought. He thought about the way Tobirama smiled when he was with the children, whether Senju or Uchiha, he thought about the man's softness when he played with Zu, the way he was polite with everybody, his passion for his craft. He remembered Tobirama's fierceness on the battlefield, always the last to leave, protecting his people's backs. He remembered how furious he had been (against himself, against the world) when he had discovered how hurt the Senju was.

He inhaled.

\- Yes, he said.

Madara smiled. It was soft and sad. He ruffled Izuna's hair, who let him do it without protesting.

\- Then Izuna, you take it slow...

Izuna snorted.

\- You and Kaya could be psychologists together...

That earned him a third trip in the koi pond.

************

Tongue stuck between his teeth, hunched over a workstation, grease and soot on his face and in his hair, his large grey shirt drenched in sweat, Tobirama added the finishing touches to the guard of the sword. He had carved Zu's head on the hilt, as a tribute to Reika's Inuzuka's origins. Smiling, he twirled the sword a few times, loosing himself in the familiar movement, before crouching to show the hilt to his dog, who was laying at his feet.

\- Look boy, he said, it's you...

Zu sniffed the hilt, before whinning happily, wiggling his tail and trying to lick Tobirama's face. The young man laughed and scratched the dogs ears before standing up. Shoto came to take a look.

\- So, he said, peering curiously, did you finish it ?  
\- Yes ! Wanna take a look ?  
\- If you don't mind.  
\- Of course not.

Tobirama gave the blade to Shoto. The older blacksmith examined it, looking impressed. He took a look at the hilt then at Zu, who was sitting at Tobirama's feet, tongue hanging, tail waggling, and laughed.

\- Damn boy ! You've got a keen eye for detail ! This looks exactly like him !

Tobirama blushed and rubbed the back of his head, putting even more grease in his hair. Kato, Taro and Sora came barrelling in, curious.

\- Oh ! Kato exclaimed, you finished it !  
\- Can we see ?! Sora cheered, making grabby hands.

Shoto rolled his eyes fondly and looked at Tobirama, a brow raised in interrogation. The young Senju nodded, smiling. Shoto gave the sword to Sora, who squealed in delight and immediately activated her Sharingan to examine it in detail.

\- Damn ! I love what you did with the colors on the guard ! They are so vivid ! How did you do it ?!

Tobirama explained to her how he did it, the different pigments he had used and how to obtain them. She was grinning from ear to ear.

\- So cool ! I am working on a piece of armor, I am gonna use that ! I will do a complete mythological scene !

Tobirama grinned, her enthousiasm contagious.

\- I have some pigments left, you can use them if you want...  
\- For real ?! Thank you !  
\- The patterns on the blade are gorgeous, Taro said more quietly than his cousin, I am trying to reproduce what you showed us last time. Could you come and tell me if the plating is enough ?  
\- Of course, Tobirama smiled.

They put the sword back in its place and Tobirama went to lend a hand to Taro. A few hours later, he once again followed Shoto and the others to the onsen. The owner had allowed Zu inside after learning that he was a therapy dog, as long as he didn't go into the water. The black labrador was laying on the ground next to the spring, near his master.

Tobirama hummed and stretched, enjoying the hot water and feeling clean after a day of hard work. He glanced at Shoto, who was relaxing next to him.

\- Shoto ?  
\- What is it boy ?  
\- I wanted to know if I could borrow some copper and silver...  
\- For what ? Shoto asked, genuinely curious.

Tobirama blushed.

\- Matsuri and Natsuki's birthday is soon and I would like to give them a gift... to thank them... for everything...

He blushed even more and Shoto's smile split his face in half.

\- Of course, boy ! You'll have all the silver and copper you need !  
\- Oh... thank y...  
\- I'm sure we can even find some opals, if you want !  
\- Reall...  
\- Maybe even gold !

Tobirama snorted and laughed softly.

\- Thank you, Shoto...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Uchiha Drama Gene strikes again ^^

**Author's Note:**

> So what do you think of the first chapter ?
> 
> Next: they will kick each other's ass ^^


End file.
